Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Crappy Day

I feel so crappy today. I'm wondering where this will all end. I've had a few days of back and forth with my ex and his lawyer. I'm tired, and I feel like I have to keep it all to myself. I've talked to 2 friends about this stuff, my office colleague, and another friend who lives downtown, but for the most part, I'm carrying this on my own.

Some days you just don't know if you should laugh or cry. I can't seem to say anything right to those around me, or to do anything right where my ex, or heck even my loved ones are concerned. I can feel another slump coming on....It's weird. Every now and then I feel this weird feeling like I need to get away from everyone. I'm in that space again. I want to go away and live in a hut for a few weeks, but here I am, dressing in the morning, going through the motions like nothing is wrong. But really, nothing seems right either.

I'm not making much sense...I know. But do you ever have those days where you feel like even when you're so close to accomplishing things, you will just fail in the end? I feel that way today- on a personal front, with my loved ones, with my crazy ex, and well, overall I suppose.

I wish I owned a hut on the beach in Tahiti. That's where I would rather be.

My ex is insane. If you hang around insane people for long enough, you become insane yourself. I think I might fall into this category of people.

I wonder if I'm ever meant to find peace and/or happiness? Or am I just destined to continue through this confusion?

No comments: