Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sprained Ankle

At least, I hope it`s just a sprain...I`m still waiting for the x-ray results...should know in an hour or so.

I was running to catch the train yesterday and I took a flip.  I thought I`d just shake it off...so I went to work.  By the end of the day, my ankle was the size of a huge tree trunk and I could not stand on it.  Serves me right for being so dumb!

Anyhow, the most fortunate thing in the world is that I have a flexible job.  I can work from just about anywhere so I spent today with my leg up, iced and on pain killers.  Yaay for pain killers!

On the children`s front, let`s see how things go.  I spoke to the CAS and they have basically confirmed that after all the stunts my ex has pulled, he does not have a hope in hell for joint custody, for more access or anything like that.

My lawyer always said that if you give a man enough rope, he will hang himself...Thankfully, I think she was right.

Things on the CAS front should taper off in a month or so.

Regarding my ex, he still emails me, calls me, stalks me.  His last call was basically to tell me that he refuses to work with CAS and will only see the kids if I give him joint custody.  I said no, he said the kids will grow up without a dad and it will be my fault.  I told him he was a jerk for abandoning the kids and then threatening me over it.

Then a week later he tried emailing my son, on his school account, again.  Sigh.  My son will not reply.  He is afraid of his father.  I think my ex believes that if he can start communication with the kids outside the CAS he can somehow bypass them completely.  Fat chance.    He needs to do what makes the kids feel safe.  And he needs to understand that this is not about his needs, it`s about the kids and their needs.

I wonder if once they grow up- will they realize how much I went out of my way to keep them safe, or will they take it all for granted?

Monday, May 07, 2012

Stalking the Kids

I think my ex is getting just a bit crazier every day.  Since he has had no contact with the children, and refused to work with the CAS, he basically doesn't get to see them. It has been peaceful for awhile, but he recently resorted to trying to reach out to the kids on his own.  For example, he sent my son an email at his school account.  I think he thought he would pull a fast one on all of us.  He didn't realize that the kids don't want anything to do with him, especially since he refused to work with CAS.  So my son, being the smart kid that he is, called me from school to tell me about the email.  He was very upset.  I told him we would talk about it when he came home.

When he got home, I asked how he wanted to handle it.  His solution:  Do nothing. No reply, don't even acknowledge it.  I'm not surprised.  That's kind of been my approach.  He must be my son.

So next, my ex tells his niece to give messages to my son at school.  This really upset my son, and put him in a position where not only does he see his dad for the freak that he is, but he is in a spot where he debated breaking ties with his cousin.  I told him that this may not be the best approach.  I told him to talk to his cousin and express how he feels.  So he went back to school and told his cousin not to give him any more messages from his dad.

The interesting thing about all this is that my ex is his own worst enemy.  He's basically making the kids hate him.  His one chance was to work with the CAS, but he gave them a boot.

My lawyer was right.  She always said "give a man enough rope and he will hang himself".  All I've had to do is let things unfold on their own.  The kids are running the show here.  But they seem to be doing just fine.

It's the first time that I have been able to breathe through the insanity.

My babies are growing up...