Babysitter?

I am totally amazed at what a little bit of free time can do. I'm still feeling great from Sunday. It's like I feel so much better. I know it may only be temporary...But hey- I haven't needed sleeping pills...That's a great sign.

I went to work today, and had a full day of meetings. I feel like work is busy, but manageable. Allowing myself to occasionally cut out early and work from home (albeit because my parents are away) has made a world of difference on the stress levels. Just keeping everything in check I guess.

I spoke with my ex today about the children and schedules etc. I hate communicating with him. Every day that goes by I hate it more and more. I wish it weren't like that, but to be honest, the man makes me a bit crazy. So he's into this newly found single party life, or so he says. I mentioned that he went away last weekend, which is fine...But now he says he wants a babysitter to watch the kids on Friday nights and Saturday nights so he can go out and have fun.

I asked him "so lemme get this straight- you want to spend your limited time with the children parking them with a sitter?" and he said only in the evenings. Am I wrong, or is that totally messed up?

I hate the mind games. I actually have to sit and ask myself if he would really do it, or if he's just trying to stress me out because he knows I won't like it, and he's secretly trying to ruin my evenings so I don't end up meeting new people? Honestly, the mind games are a bit too much for me. I'm half tempted to say "go and have your fun, I'll keep the kids", and the other half says that's a trend I should not let myself start. I'm going to have to think this one out a bit more.

No matter how you cut it, the real issue is, I'm just not devious enough to figure all this out. And I lack the jerk factor, which seems to rule him, so either way, I'm vulnerable and will inevitably get screwed. I'm starting to mistrust men. Are they all like this guy, or did I just pick out the gem of the world when I married him? Arg arg arg.