Home Again

I got home last night from the event that I went to. It was fun. I had a nice time. At first, I felt a bit awkward going to a party with my colleagues all dressed up like that (I barely dress up for an Indian wedding where all the women cluck cluck cluck about each other like hens), so a bit out of character for me. But I had a nice time. I got back to my room around 2am and went to sleep around 4am. My blackberry rang at 8 and woke me up (idiot for not turning it off), so I had little sleep at the hotel.

The spa thing was nice. You never realize how tired you are until you lie down on the massage table. I fell asleep during the massage, which makes it feel kind of like a waste, but hey- I had fun at the spa, and that's what counts. Seeing my little darlings when I came home was awesome, and I let them sleep in my bed last night (ok- they sly talked me into it). But it's a king size bed, so there was lots of room. I think the relaxing thing took over because I slept 9 hours last night. I don't think I've had that much sleep in one night since my son was born. It was awesome.

Now I'm just trying my best to catch up on all the work emails. I've been trying to work through them, but there are a lot so it will take some time.

I think the break away was good for me...Even if it was short. It gave me a little breather, and I feel better. I think the past few weeks since my ex told me about the divorce papers were a bit rough, but I'm feeling better now. I'm ok with my place in the world- ok with being almost 34, ok with the single parent thing, ok with never meeting another person again (if that's what the future holds relationship wise). I think I'm actually really ok with all this.

Part of it was running into colleagues that I never get to chat with. I saw a lot of people that I've known for some time, but never get to catch up with. I had the time to have one on one conversations with some of them. They asked how I was, how the kids were, how my husband was, so I kind of felt compelled to fess up about the whole husband deal. I'm going to qualify this by saying- no, I did not sob on people's shoulders- they were a few-minute conversations each where I only divulged info when specifically asked how my 'husband' was doing. Telling a sob story at an office event like this would just be wrong.

From the 2 people I briefly fessed up to (after being asked how my 'husband' was), I did end up feeling like I was doing alright- I think they pointed it out to me. The reaction was "WHAT? You went through a separation and still look like that? You look pretty happy. What the heck? And how did you do so well at work while going through that much??"

The truth is, I don't know how I did so well, I don't know how I managed, but I think I've been too hard on myself. It was nice to be reminded of how lucky I am, and how much I should be thankful for.

And all that from an office party- who would have thought?