Spider Pig

Those of you who have seen the Simpson's Movie know what I'm talking about. My son is too young to watch the Simpsons, but he has seen the commercial for the movie since it just came out on DVD, and the commercial has been playing often enough. From that commercial, he caught a glimpse of Homer holding the pig upside down and letting it walk on the ceiling. My son found it amusing.

This morning, as I was getting dressed in my room, I heard from the kitchen below me "Spider pig, spider pig, friendly neighbourhood spider pig".

I smiled as I was putting on my makeup. He is such a crackup.

Then I heard him fall. Hard. Followed by a 5 second silence.

Now any mother knows that when a child falls and you don't hear a cry, it is BAD. It means they are unconscious, or totally knocked the wind out of themselves. So I ran down stairs. He was on the kitchen floor. I asked if he was OK. Then he started crying. I picked him up and checked his head for bumps.

As it turns out, my brilliant son was walking on the kitchen counter while pretending to hold a pig upside down and let it walk on the ceiling. Stupid Simpsons show.

Anyhow, I was glad to see that there weren't any bumps. Then I saw the blood. On his ear. The part of his ear that connects to his head, you know, the top of the ear, where your eyeglasses sit? Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. Now what?

Here is the deal:

• I knew he needed stitches
• I knew that the hospital would have a 9 hour wait (if you are lucky)
• I knew of a walk in clinic nearby, but didn't know if they would do stitches
• Guests would be arriving in Chuck E Cheeses for the birthday party within an hour.
  

Think fast baby, think fast!

I grabbed some gauze, cleaned the would, told my son to apply some pressure to it. We hopped into the car and went to the walk in clinic. They explained that yes he needed stitches, and that no, the regular stitches wouldn't work. Because this is not a fleshy part of the body, it would require extra fine stitches which are carried in emergency rooms only.

I explained my predicament to the doctor. We have a birthday party in an hour. Should I cancel it? He said no. Fortunately, he is also an emergency room doctor. In his expert opinion, liquid stitches should do the job just as well, and would get us out of there within 30 minutes, and he would still be able to attend his party. Saved. One caveat- if the liquid stitches were to open again somehow, I would have to go to the emergency room to get the other ones done. I agreed.

Anyhow, its over, thank God. Leave it to my son to add extra drama to the day.

Stupid Spider Pig. Stupid Simpson's Movie. Stupid boyish curiosity.

My son's answer to the day- "Well, I guess I won't be doing that again".

I should hope not young man. Sheesh. He sounds just like his mother sometimes.