Monday, November 19, 2007

Your Time Will Come, But This is Not Your Time

Words of wisdom from one of my best friends. This was said to me a week ago when I was going mental with my ex's last stunt. My friend was calming me down when I was feeling totally fed up and ready to give up. Some days, I just feel like it will never end. Like I will be suffering through this crap forever, like no matter how many prayers I pray, or how many times I am patient, it just never gets easier. I wanted to rip into him. But my friend reminded me- My time will come. But today is not my time. Yet.

He's right. Patience is the key. I've been patient for awhile. I was patient for those 11 years as I suffered one black eye after another. I was patient when I left and he cleaned out the bank accounts and cash advanced all my credit cards. I was patient in the legal documents, when he made up all those lies. My friend was right. I can be patient just a little bit longer. After all, we know the end is near. We are after all, in court. It has to be over in the next 8 months or so. Even if God forbid, it doesn't go the way I want (which I am hoping is unlikely), but even if that happens, I will have clearly defined non-negotiable boundaries and I won't have to deal with him anywhere near as much as I do today.

My other girlfriend is right too. No matter how bad this is, and no matter how financially ruined I will be, I am waaaaaaay better off this year than I was last year. And I was better off last year than the year before.

Look at it this way- I no longer have to use a cover stick around my eyes as part of my morning getting-dressed routine. And I know that my kids will never have to do it. I know that with certainty, because my kids have a safe home.

That and the fact that if he ever does hurt my babies again, I'll have his butt whipped into jail. And he knows it.

You're right my friend. My time will come. It's been coming little by little already.

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