Anyhow, the context was a conversation I had with the children. My son was saying that their dad says he's a "single dad". OK- well, technically you might be, but really, come on. I mean, having the kids 4 days a month doesn't make you a single dad. It takes a lot to be a father, and more to be a single father. Any man can be a sperm donor. It takes a certain kind of person to be a real father, and especially a single dad in the true sense of the term. I think that the following should be a minimum to making you be entitled to use the "Single Parent" title:
- You actually do homework with your children
- You take them to medical appointments
- You take care of them when they are sick (instead of sending them home to the other parent)
- You bathe them (he never does- ewww)
- You feed them, and do their laundry
- You encourage them
- You have a tight limited schedule because there aren't enough hours in the day and you are almost permanently their mom and their dad, the breadwinner and the housewife
- You are gentle and loving
- You are indeed the sole parent in the house on an ongoing basis
He doesn't do any of these things. He doesn't even buy diapers for our daughter. I get rude emails that say that he needs pull ups and since I get child support, I should buy things for them. Never mind the fact that he makes more money than I do (that he doesn't declare), or that it's just $20 for God's sake.
I don't think he's entitled to use the single parent title. I think it would be more appropriate for him to say "Hi, I'm the guy who beat up my wife so many times that she finally left me, oh yeah, and I choked our son, and abused my children regularly so I only get to see them four days a month".
Not a single dad.
I know. I sound bitter. There isn't enough therapy in the world that can get rid of the disappointment I have in that man.
I guess I need to go back to therapy again. :)
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