The CAS Visit

What a day. I went to the courthouse this morning in the hopes of applying again for exparte custody and the restraining order. When I got through the lines (I was there from 8-9:30), the duty counsel basically said no, that since the judge refused my request, she would not assist me to apply again. I'm wondering why. She basically said that re-stating the facts wasn't sufficient. Come back with evidence or don't come back at all. Like I said, the system fails me. I'm guessing I'll have evidence soon enough- after all, my ex will go berserk when he finds out I called CAS. That will be evidence alright.

I did put in a call to my doctor and asked if he would be willing to write me a letter, releasing the info in his appointment with the children. I figure a doctor's letter is evidence, right? He agreed and said that I should bring the kids in one more time first (to see if they say any more) and then he can try to have something ready for Tuesday-ish. It's really wonderful of him to help, but I still have the dilemma of finding a way to make it through the weekend.

The CAS visit went OK. The children unfortunately didn't say too much. I'm not horribly surprised, because my children aren't the type to just start talking in front of anyone. They did both indicate that they were afraid of their father. And, the worker does have the info from my doctor to leverage. Next stop- she will go to both schools to investigate. The last stop will be to my ex's home. He doesn't know about the CAS call yet.

Every Tuesday and Thursday night my ex gets a telephone call with the children. On Tuesday, I didn't want him to have contact with them so I unplugged the home phone and turned off my cell. He left me a nasty voice mail and email basically reminding me that I'm failing my end of the agreement. Yeah, asshole, and you upheld yours by beating on my kids. Honestly, I feel like punching him in the face.

Anyhow, so back to the story, I now have to wait. I have to wait for the CAS to finish their investigation. The case worker is nice, but to be honest, I'm disappointed that they can't do more. I mean she basically told me that they don't have much authority. Are you KIDDING me? I mean, you're the frickin CAS. I thought you had like the highest rights of all. What the heck good is a Child Protection Agency if they can't protect the child? I was basically told that:

• Yes we believe that the children have been abused and are scared of their father, but we don't have the authority to stop his access
• The CAS doesn't have the authority to enforce supervised visitation
• They don't have the authority to force therapy

Are you KIDDING ME? Honest to God, I'm getting really pissed off with the system right now. If I end up one of those statistics- those women who end up being victims of those murder suicides, please send the press a link to this blog. (OK, I'm being a drama queen, but you get my point). This is nuts.

She did say that since my doctor said that the children need therapy, she can try to convince my ex to agree to therapy, by saying it is medically required. If he refuses, then I can go to the court and show that he is not fit to be a custodian for the children. Nice, but still- at this rate, it will take forever to help the children heal, and aren't the children (and their well being) the main goal for the CAS? This is so weird.

I'm totally afraid that I'm going to be one of those cases that can't be helped. It will be one of those things that gets off on a loophole. This sucks.

But here's something for you. I'm thinking of NOT sending the kids to their dad this weekend. I've had this recommendation from 2 duty counsel people, 2 CAS workers, and my MD. Basically, yes, I may be seen as breaking the court order, but then again, I have reasonable grounds to believe their safety is at risk if I send them. Since I fear for them, I can possibly keep them and defend myself on those grounds should he decide to take me to court.

Here's a question for you- why can't the CAS just tell him they won't let me send the kids to him? Why do I have to break the law?

I am going to my lawyer tomorrow and I will ask her what I should do as next steps. And then I'm going to my therapist at 12:30 (yes I need an outlet), and then - well, work for the first time this week. I've been picking up emails, but this is getting ridiculous. So, I'm hoping to attend two meetings downtown tomorrow.

Anyhow, that's it for now. Let's pray tomorrow is a better day.