My Little Hockey Player

I will have to take my son to hockey on Saturday and Sunday next weekend. My ex came by today and showed me how to put on all the hockey equipment.

Honestly, I've watched hockey on TV and it's loads of fun. I don't mind watching it at all. BUT- having to dress my son in all that gear, and knowing what it's for, I don't know. I kept asking my ex all types of questions-

ME: "What's that for?"
EX: "That's his jock. It protects the family jewels"
ME: "Well- these are kids, right? It's not like anyone would hurt him, right?"
EX: "Are you kidding me? He took a stick to the crotch just this morning"
ME: "Oh MY GOD! Does he really have to play hockey? Can't we bubble wrap him or something?"
EX: "Now you're just being protective"
ME: (turning to my son) "Next week, you show me who gave you the stick to your crotch. Mommy's going to have a chit chat with that boy"
EX: "No you're not....Although this was deliberate...But still...This is hockey. You can't chit chat with the kid....next week it could be ours who gives someone else a stick. This is just how it goes"
ME: "Deliberate? Oh my GOD you must be joking! You know for a fact that this kid deliberately gave our baby a stick to the CROTCH? These kids are like, 6!!! That malicious 6 year old really needs a chit chat now!"
EX: "That's what penalties are for...for malicious or unfair tactics"
ME: "And that's it? Can't they kick him out of the league or something? Have a rule that says if you do 3 malicious actions you have to leave?"


OK- this is why I should not be taking the children to sports. Between the jock, the elbow pads, shoulder pads, knee pads, neck guard (tell me that isn't scary) and helmet with the tooth protector thing, I think I am going to have a cardiac watching his game. I'll be reading extra Ramadan prayers before leaving the house that morning. And no, I'm not joking. Not one bit.

And on that note....What the heck are they doing scheduling 6am hockey on a weekend? For 6 year old boys? Don't people sleep???

Sigh. I know- I do this cuz my son loves it. But really- couldn't he love basketball or something? My ex insisted that every Canadian child should know how to play ice hockey. I reluctantly agreed.

Now I'm just scared. I'm an overprotective mom. I know. I can't help it.