Well, I tried many avenues for protection today. I called the CAS again to see if they can at least officially stop my ex's access until therapy starts, and they said they will have a supervisor call me, but that it's doubtful.
Next, I called the Peel Regional Police and stated my case, my fears, my request for safety, asking if they can somehow protect me if he comes to my door. They said that they cannot give him any warnings etc, because there is no documented history of violence (I never called the police, he's never been charged), so they don't know if there is much they can do proactively. If he comes to my door and threatens me, I can call the police and then they will come out.
Nice try, but that will be too late.
So, they can't warn him, they can't pro-actively keep it on file, they can't flag my house, because I've never called the police. I've never called the police because I was too scared. Now I'm more scared. This man will be livid. I know that personal security and freedoms are important. After all, I could be making all this up, and getting some innocent man in trouble. But I'm NOT making it up. I'm going to be up the creek without a paddle.
So, I can pack up and leave, but will anyone come after me for taking off? If I stay home, the police won't protect me.
Next I called Peel Victims Services. They had the same questions- did I ever file a police report, is there a history of violence- I said yes, in doctor's files when I showed my bruises to the doctor, but since those aren't publicly accessible, well, they don't count except in court. Her advice, get a lawyer and go to court. Thanks honey- but what happens in the meantime? I can't exactly send my kids to him.
This is why women get killed. Nobody can help the ones who have been too scared to ever call the police. It's my own fault, but today I'm trying to help myself, and I can't seem to find an official avenue to do so.
OK- As I'm doing this blog entry, I just got another call from the CAS. My ex husband has been notified that they are now involved and he will be meeting with them at 1pm. She says he's very angry and asked who called them. She told them a credible person from the community. Maybe this gives me a clearer avenue with respect to the lawyer. I can email his lawyer in about an hour and tell him that I understand there is a CAS investigation, and that under the circumstances I don't feel comfortable giving him access to the children. It sounds a heck of a lot better than the original "you didn't allow therapy, you don't see the kids" email. After all, it shows better judgement, right?
Next steps for me, I've drafted the email, I'm going to get the kids dressed and out of the house by about 2pm. I have an appt with our MD for 3pm, hoping that my son will confide a bit more in him.
Keep your fingers crossed guys. Best case scenario, this will fizzle out. Worst case scenario, I might be calling around for a place to stay....
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