Your world comes crashing down on you. I had such a crappy day. I was supposed to be at an offsite meeting all day today. Normally that would have been a good thing. Today, just as I entered the hotel where we had our offsite, I get a call from my lawyer's office. It de-railed my day. I was an emotional mess, and I just couldn't control the tears. So I left early and went home, despite the fact that my boss and his Senior Leadership team had dinner plans tonight, and despite the fact that I had made complete arrangements for the children for the evening.
He spends loads of cash on himself, manic as he is. I mean, he just (like a month ago) moved out of his basement apartment into a lakeside condo downtown Toronto. I just found out from a real estate agent friend that the rental is $2200 per month. His car costs him $850 per month. It's not like he is living a tight lifestyle. He is living very lavishly.
But for those of you who have been watching this unfold over a few months, you know that the assessment is 6 weeks away from completion. 6 weeks and my ex is about to be busted for all his lies. I'm sure he knows this now.
So, what can a guy do when he is going through the middle of a court ordered assessment with an assessor of his choice and he realizes that things don't look good for him?
He refuses to pay the assessor. That's right. My gem of an ex husband owes the assessor $7500. Until he pays, the assessor refuses to finish the assessment. My ex claims he just doesn't have the money, and that he is broke (what- he couldn't think about that a month ago when he moved into the Lakeside property?!). I have to admit, that was smart of him. Evil, but smart. There was no other way for him to stop this thing. This must have been his plan for a few weeks now. In hindsight, I should have known he might pull something like this when the deadbeat reduced his child support payments without any reason at all, except apparently to give me a hard time and make me suffer financially.
I smell a rat. Better yet, I smell an asshole.
So here is where we stand. The court has demanded an assessment. Without it, they won't be able to change the current custody situation, which means it could remain as joint custody. The assessor needs $7500 from my ex and also my final payment which is around $3500. So that makes $11,000.
My ex claims he doesn't have the money. So if we don't finish the assessment, I've lost over 30k in legal fees for nothing. In order to finish the assessment, someone has to dish out $11,000. And he is refusing to do it. Looks like they are thinking that "somebody" has to be me.
Like I have that much kicking around?!
What a bullshit legal system. So either I pay his share, or I am SOL. The kicker- I don't have the cash to pay his share.
Some people are just a waste of oxygen.
I keep telling myself to have faith. That this will all work out for the best. It's getting harder to believe, but I haven't lost hope yet. Bad things just can't keep happening to good people. There has to be a breaking point...
2 comments:
Shaz,
I don't know what to say except that that man will get his one day (even if it doesn't happen until judgement day). I believe that something good has to come from all of this. Can't the court garnish his wages to get payment?
I will be trying for that, but our next court date is not until July. (Which is when they expected to receive a complete report). I fully intend to raise this and try to see if that can be done, but I don't know how all this works.
What a deadbeat. If nothing else, I am going to take the position that if he cannot meet his financial obligations for the children, and I can't do it alone, then I should just be allowed to move elsewhere so I can at least provide for the children.
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