I had a scary thought. Wouldn't it be freaky if the thing that I am running from comes back to haunt me later? I left my ex husband because I could not handle his instability, his mood swings, the abuse, the rage. Now, after reading up on it and studying it, I see that it passes down from male to male most commonly. My biggest fear- God forbid that my son grow into his teenage years and develop the same thing.
Sometimes, when you run from something that you were meant to face, you end up facing it again in your life. I ran from a crazy lunatic. I just pray that I won't ever have to face it again. Better yet, I pray that I faced it as much as I was supposed to and that this part of my spiritual/emotional/mental journey is complete.
Then again, I have in my life, met many bipolar people since my separation. Some are doctors, lawyers, CEOs. One key difference- they accept the condition that they have and do everything that they can to treat it. They stay on their medication, and they go to regular therapy. They don't try to run from it.
I don't have any reason to fear anything for my son. He seems like a pretty normal child, and a happy one for the most part. It's just that I know this thing starts up in the teenage years, and our MD has warned me that there is always a chance (albeit slim). I just hope and pray that I don't have to ever face this again in my life. Quite frankly, I've had enough.
Just another one of those fears that makes me lose sleep at night I guess...
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