My ex called me a few days back. He wanted to avoid the court date and save some money, especially since the assessment won't be ready in time. I agreed with him, but explained that I couldn't because he owed me alot of money and was refusing to pay up. It's all messed up because I have to spend a ton of money to get back some money so it feels like a waste. We tried to settle things ourselves over email, but typical to himself, he got pushy and tried to give me ultimatums etc so here I am, going to court on Wed.
I can't stand my ex. Everything is a power struggle with him. This time, I will not let him control me or scare me or threaten me. I did it for 15 years. Well no more.
Anyhow, enough of that. I'm just sick of it all really.
On another note, I have been working in overdrive at work lately. I had one person on my team move to another role within our dept and another that left the company. So it's a bit of a one woman show and I really can't seem to keep up. Sigh.
Anyhow, my body defies me. Just when I think I'm managing well, my face explodes in acne heaven and I develop a throat infection. Not surprised I guess. I spent the bulk of this weekend drugged out so far. Not fun at all. I will survive.
On another note, the CAS will be closing the file next week. That means that next weekend my ex will get to spend the entire weekend with the children again. Supervised by his family of course. Honestly, it just feels like it is all back to the drawing board. I hate the system.
I wonder if there is such a thing as trying too hard as a mother? I mean, I spend every last dime and feel like I get nowhere. The assholes of this world always seem to prevail.
I feel so fed up today. Must be the fact that I'm under the weather. I'm just so....tired. I feel like giving up. I mean, heck. Let GOD take care of these kids if he wants to. How much can one person take anyways?
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