And I feel like I am emotionally unraveling. And I don't understand why. I've been to court a million times. I know how my ex can be. I kind of know what to expect. I just don't know why I can't seem to keep it together.
I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. I can't keep my composure. Not at home, not at work, not driving in my car. I just don't understand it.
Fortunately, I spoke to my boss today. I told him I am fine working, just very unusually emotional. He recommended I work from home for a couple of days so that I can give myself a bit of head space. Truthfully, I think that is the best thing for me. To stay away from anyone and everyone until I can sort myself out. For now, I feel like a stranger to everyone. Like nobody understands me anymore. Like I stand alone.
I haven't slept in days. I had one good day- Sat afternoon with friends. It took my mind off things, but only temporarily.
Sometimes I wonder if life is worth it. We go through so much, and what if this is all a big joke in the end? What if all this effort is for nothing? What if things never get better?
I'm chunking off my goals. Today's goal was to get to the end of the day. It's 10pm. Mission accomplished.
I just need to make it through each day, one day at a time.
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