Monday, July 26, 2010

The Kids are in Morocco

It is a very long story.

My ex is entitled to two weeks uninterrupted with the children every summer.  Although he requires my permission to travel, I should not be withholding permission without just cause according to our court order.  So the story went like this.


  • My ex booked his two weeks of time with me a few weeks ago.  I consented.
  • A week later, he told me he wanted to take the kids on vacation and that he was looking for a place to go.  I reluctantly consented.
  • A week later, he tells me he would like to go to Morocco.  I freak (to myself) because I don't trust him, and I was not expecting an international travel.  Much less something to a not so developed part of the world.  (Or at least that is how I feel about Morocco).
And then I pause and think about it.  My knee jerk reaction is to say no way in hell.  But the kids are dying to go.  They tell me their dad is getting married (again)- this time to someone from Morocco.   I'm still not comfortable- not with the international travel, not with giving him the passports, not with all the possibilities of everything that can go wrong.  I don't like the idea of sending the kids there with their irresponsible father.  But then I pause to consider the facts.


  • My ex is under the care of a psychiatrist, and he has letters to prove it.
  • He is entitled to two weeks with the kids according to our court order
  • He is entitled to get married, and the kids are entitled to attend their father's wedding.
  • The kids really want to go, he really wants to take them.  I am the odd one left out feeling like this is a bad idea.  I can say no, but how will the courts feel about me refusing the kids to go to their father's wedding?
  • I call the Canadian Embassy.  They say that Morocco is on good terms with Canada and not to worry.  I register the children's travel.
  • I consent to the trip (reluctantly).
Don't get me wrong.  Every part of me is as nervous as hell.  I just didn't know what choices I had.  I'm trying not to think about it.  Sigh.  I've spoken to the children (they left on Friday)- they are having a blast.  So far so good.  But I will not stop holding my breath till they are back.

And how is it that mental freaks can get married for a third time, but good people like myself (yes I do believe I am a good person) can't find a decent relationship?  And please.  To that guy who told me it's because I'm not skinny enough, bugger off.  I don't have time for your BS and put downs.  And yes, I am still emotionally bothered by what he said to me.   You can't say crap like that to someone with a history of eating disorders without triggering some really bad stuff.  Yes they have been triggered.  No I'm not getting into it.  I'll deal with it and get back on track in time.

To the rest of the normal people out there....any thoughts?  Oh yes, and if you are going to tell me it's because I'm not skinny enough, please stop reading my blog.  I'm not in the mood for stupidity.

I guess I'm grumpy and edgy these days.  Sigh.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shaz,

It seems that you did all the due diligence you could. You are right to mistrust your ex however as you said, he is under supervision and on his meds. The fact that you have spoken with the kids already is a good sign. Hang in there, the two weeks will be done before you know it.

BF

shaz said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I have spoken to the kids twice so far, and they are having a good time, so that makes me feel a bit better. So far so good...fingers crossed...