Puberty Education

My little baby is growing up. And I hate it.

I know I shouldn't. But it makes me kind of sad. Not want-another-baby sad, but just kind of sad. And a bit fearful. After all, the hardest, dreaded teenage years are yet to come.

My son brought a note home from school yesterday. It is a note advising me that the class will be separated between girls and boys for a few days next week so they can do "puberty education". Basically, this is not sex education, just giving them information about puberty, and the changes that their bodies will go through.

Sigh. Already? Really? I mean, I can still remember breastfeeding my son. I can remember carrying around diaper bags and pushing strollers. I was not expecting this so soon...

I asked him if he will share his "learnings" with me. He gave me a sheepish smile and said "Yes mama. But won't it be embarrassing for you to hear all this?" UM. NO. Trust me, I already know everything they are going to tell you. I just want to know how much of it you will learn.

I asked him if he got any examples of what they will teach. Yes, he says. They will tell you about the body parts that grow hair, using deodorant, etc.

I want to know what the "etc" is. Sigh. I guess it's time to buckle up. The roller-coaster ride is going to begin soon.

Have I ever mentioned my fear of roller-coasters? Or the fact that the queasy stomach feeling makes me want to throw up?

Judging the Gym Instructor

Guilty as charged. Here is what happened.

I went to the gym yesterday for a kick boxing class. I sat on the floor, holding my spot, waiting for the instructor to arrive. In comes the instructor, a very heavy woman, who looked twice my size (no word of a lie). My jaw dropped. I've never seen an instructor who looked so unfit, and this lady was going to teach ME how to get my abs in shape? She was twice my size (for real)! No way. My mind raced thoughts- should I leave and do my own workout? Drive to the other gym and make it for their class? Or stick it out? I decided to stick it out.

10 minutes into the class, I felt like Simon Cowell when Susan Boyle started to sing. This woman was really kicking it. I mean REALLY. I could not keep up with her. And to my shame, halfway through the class, as I was huffing and puffing, she came up to me, gently touched my shoulder and said "Honey, this is your first class ...do you want me to show you how to do the beginner moves, it might help?"

No way. I go to the gym 3 times a week (OK, sometimes 2). I have been taking kick boxing for 6 months. But still. Here I was JUDGING this woman, and I couldn't even keep up with her.

I will never judge a book by it's cover again.

So today...I went to the gym again, and to my surprise, there she was, ready to teach this class as well. This time I smiled at her and said "See...I'm still alive....ready for another round". Her response "Good girl...we will get you to where you need to be".

And this time, I didn't doubt her one bit. I'm actually going to scope out her classes and try to attend. They were HARD. And she was rockin awesome.

Clearing the Closet

My name is Shaz, and I am a shoe-aholic.

On second thought, let's make that a shop-aholic. I think I need help.

As part of my personal goal for some downtime before starting my new job, I decided to re-organize things, starting with all the closets/drawers/cupboards in my home.

I did the kitchen and main floor yesterday. This morning, I woke up and decided to start with my room. More specifically, my closet. What a disaster.

I found things that were so old, I don't even know where they came from. For example, there was the pair of shoes I bought when I was married. If my calculations are correct, they are about 15 years old. Still as fabulous as ever, very expensive, but worn only 3 times. What a waste. I decided to add them to the donation pile.

Then there were a few that I decided to finally give up and throw out.

The kicker was the 7 pairs of shoes I found that are totally fabulous, but have never been worn. Not even once. The icing on the cake was the very sexy pair of red strappy sequined sandals, that I cannot even remember buying. They are totally fantastic, and I intend to make use of them this summer. But for the life of me, I do not remember when or where I bought these beauties. Either I have serious memory issues, or I just have too much stuff. Maybe it's a bit of both.

Anyhow, today truly was a "shop in your closet" day. I have given myself 6 months to make use of my new finds, or they are out the door. Let's see how I do.

I can say one thing...with things re-organized, it definitely did wonders for my mental state. With all that clutter and baggage out of the way, I'm feeling really great.

And finding those new strappy red sandals didn't hurt either. I actually did a glee dance when I found them. Happy day!

Pink Laptop

Last week, I bought myself a Pink Sony VAIO. I've heard mixed reviews about the Sony, but so far, I think it's great. And its PINK. Yaay!

It's funny- for the longest time, well, for as long as I can remember, I've had this "pink" obsession...anything and everything pink makes me smile. At work, I had my friend swing me a cute little pink blackberry. Non company standard, but loads of fun! :)

Yesterday, I sat here in my family room, windows open, drinking diet Pepsi and typing on my new pink laptop.

Life is good :)

You just know...

Oprah interviewed Simon Cowell from American Idol on her show today. Her question to him was "Why are you leaving the show"? His answer was "Because you just know when it's time to go".

I can relate. The timing for these things is never perfect, but it is what it is, and you just know when it's time.

Words to live by...

This week, I resigned from my job. After 18 years of being with the same company, a company that I worked for since I was 20 years old, in my undergraduate years. It was a scary thing to do, but for so many reasons, it was time.

Onwards to the next phase in my career...Fingers crossed, ready for the ride.

A Sick Action

I missed my ex's telephone call tonight (my ex is entitled to a nightly phone call with the children). It wasn't on purpose or anything. I think I was on the phone when he called, dialing out perhaps and his call went right into voicemail. He called again at 9:15 and by that time, the children were already asleep. I apologized when he called. His response- he went to the police station at 10pm tonight and insisted that I WAKE UP the children so that he could speak to them. This is seriously ill judgment and in no way does it indicate any amount of love or care for the well being of the children. It was purely a control tactic and seriously concerning. In what way is waking up the children from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to say hello good for their well being? And what normal rational mentally well parent would do such a cruel thing to his own children?

I am so fed up of all this bullshit. Just when I think God is finally giving me a chance to breathe, I get this bullshit. It's seriously screwed up.

This is a man who has not respected the court order himself. He has called at his leisure, sometimes at 3pm, 4pm, 5pm, 7pm, 8pm, and 9pm. Not once have I stopped him from speaking to the children. Not once have I given him a hard time. I have always wanted to be the better parent, the one who did not put the children in the middle. But this is absolutely enough. My ex is just a hostile person, and I am becoming concerned again about the children's safety when they are under his care.

I am happy to respect the court order, but he needs to accept the same. On the one hand, he requests lenience from me, and on the other, he is rigid and down right selfish when it comes to the children. This is totally unacceptable.

I have no idea where this is going to go, but I seriously think I need to get the hell out of Toronto. And get the kids to a safer place where they can live a more stable life. I have never felt so completely isolated in my entire life.