I finally got the children a chance to see a child therapist. I thought it would help them deal with everything. They are, after all, dealing with the divorce, their dad's new marriage, and the fact that their father is a psycho jerk. Here is the good news. The waiting list is months for the therapy, and they could have been seen in 2 weeks. Here is the bad news. I need my ex's consent to take them to therapy (since we have joint custody), and he has refused to allow me to take them to a therapist. He's such a jerk. So now what the hell do I do?
I feel like my hands are tied. I work like a dog all day at a job that, well, let's not go there, and I come home to feed, clothe, and put them to bed, pack lunches, dress them in the morning, and at the end of it all, I don't even have the God dammed authority to take them to a therapist. I'm not a mother. I'm a nanny. I'm hating this. I'm so infuriated I can't even concentrate. What THE HELL kind of situation is this?
So - to summarize, I get to work my ass off, he gets to have fun time, and I can't make any parental decisions because the man who refuses medication and therapy for himself refuses it for the children? Yeah, this is real justice people. This system doesn't take care of the children. It takes care of their father. It gives him rights beyond what he should be entitled to. It gives him a ticket to terrorize and stalk me as long as he doesn't go as far as to kill me. It allows him to show up on my property, peek through my windows, refuse to bring the children home on a Sunday, refuse therapy for the children, refuse to do their homework with them, to bathe them, to do any parental duties, yet he can call himself a father, and I- the one who works her ass off, I cannot even help my children when I see what I consider something to be a justifiable need for their mental well being.
Why do I even bother? I SO want to give up. I have been stressing and crying on this one for 3 days now. I hate this. I cannot do this anymore. It's been 3 years of hell, and I've had enough.
This joint custody arrangement is not working out, and I don't seem to see any way out. He should be in a mental institution. That would be justice.
The system here in Canada totally sucks.
3 comments:
The fact he is saying no is a good thing because as you build up your case in terms of getting full custody of the children and visitation for him, this only adds to you case by showing that he is not interested in what is best for the children. Any child having to go through divorce and a new mom in such a short period of time needs some form of coping mechanism and therapy may be helpful. He has provided no basis for his refusal and that should be a plus for you
I agree with anonymous...Shaz, keep your head up, that old saying "everything happens for a reason" is very apt right now.
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I agree with your points, but at the end of the day, that would be the "silver lining". The point is that I have to suffer and fight about every little thing in the NOW, which makes my current state rather miserable.
All my friends have been telling me to be patient. But come on, this separation/divorce has been running for three years. Enough is enough. Patience would be easier if I knew there was an end in sight. There isn't.
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