Who's the FOB?

I know I'm going to get scrutinized for doing this, but I just had to. I'm getting tired of the attitude in the Indo-Pak community towards new immigrants. I mean, given, yes in some ways, they are different, and it takes time to adjust to a new country, but the overly judgmental attitude is getting to me in many ways.

Firstly, I recently met some people that have been in the country for less than 10 years. Some for 7 or 8, some for 3 or 4. Yes, they have accents, yes, they are still getting used to the differences. But- these are intelligent interesting people. When and how did others develop the attitude that it's somehow ok to judge them? I mean- the weird thing is, I think Indo-Paks born and raised here in Canada are the absolute worst towards Indo-Paks not born here. My question is- if we are going to treat them badly or be judgmental, how the heck are they going to escape the judgment of the rest of the world?

My friends are great people. They are genuine, smart, funny, and good hearted. I don't see the need to judge them based on the fact that they have an accent, or the fact that a joke about a TV show from the 80's will go right over their heads. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. There are many more important things to think about. Like a person's character, like how much fun you have with them, and whether or not they are genuinely good people. I'm tired of the remarks I get like "who's the accent guy?" or "what's with the Pak chick?" I mean - please - people....Get over it.

I am the first to say that at a collective level, I am sick and tired of the Indo-Pak community as a whole- the intrusive approach, the herdish mentality, the nosiness. I'm not interested in it, and I've stayed far away from it for two years. That being said, I do realize the value in the individual relationships.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'm just saying that the judgmental attitude of my fellow born and raised North Americans is at times, a bit sickening. As we get older, can we at least try to show a bit more maturity? I mean, high school was, well- high school. It was the height of immaturity. I'm in my 30's now and so are my friends. Let's grow up. Please.

I do, however, have another story. I was driving in my car with a relative, who shall remain unnamed. We were cut off by a clearly immigrant driver, and I'll leave out how I know it was an immigrant, and what nationality they were. "You know what?" she said, "ever since we got all those immigrants in Canada, there is just no courtesy left around here". Ok - I had to interject- UM- Hello- YOU'RE an immigrant. "Me? I've been here for over 30 years. I'm not like those immigrants".

What? Ok- I didn't realize there were categories. Like real immigrants vs not really immigrant immigrants or something. This is so confusing. Oh who am I kidding? This is so stupid. Our community is idiotic. We bring on our own problems. We do it to ourselves.

So yes- I have friends who are immigrants. Many have accents. Sometimes, we even joke about their accents, or about my bad Urdu when I speak it with an English accent. Either way, that's just in jest. It's the ones who look you square in the face and ask "who's your FOB friend" that really scare me...