The Birthday Game

This is really stupid. Recall the birthday conversation I had with my ex on Friday when he showed up at my door with flowers (yet again). The one other thing that I forgot to mention in my post is that before he left, he said that he wanted to start celebrating the children's birthdays. I know the 'start celebrating' thing sounds weird, but here is the background; he doesn't like to celebrate birthdays. He never did. Never. But now that I've been doing it for the children, he feels competitive or something and wants to take part. He was really pushing to be allowed to celebrate with us this year. I told him that if it meant that much to him, then next year, he can throw one child's party, and I can throw the other child's party, and the following year we can rotate. He agreed to follow this schedule commencing next year.

When the children came home from their dad's place this weekend, they were talking about the weekend, and told me that their dad was throwing a birthday party for my son. But, it's a "secret" birthday party and they are not to share the details with me. But here is the kicker. I was throwing a birthday party for 8 friends from school. He has now arranged a huge birthday party for our son and has invited not only the entire hockey team to attend but also every single classmate. I have a few issues with this:

• It's downright stupid and childish
  
• He is simply trying to 'one up' me. I don't really care about this part, except that every single parent will know it. How humiliating
• More importantly, he is inviting the SAME guests as I am, i.e.- the overlapping 8 children from my son's class. We as the parents look totally stupid and incompetent. What he is effectively doing is showing that we are NOT a unified front, that we are indeed dysfunctional. He is putting other parents in the middle, as they now have to choose which party they will send their child to, his or mine. Had I known that he would throw the party, I would have just cancelled mine and let him do it. My point wasn't to throw the party, it was to make sure that our son gets to have one. His point is clearly to show that he is the one throwing the party. I'm guessing he's trying to prove some kind of point?
  
• I feel like my son's grade school teacher will think that we are dysfunctional, as he too will know what is going on as the invites get handed out in class. I wonder if this will reflect on how he views my son. The teacher might start to think our son is some messed up kid from a messed up home
• What the hell is he doing inviting 50+ people to a birthday party? At $15/$20 bucks a head, does he not know what that will cost? If he has that kind of money, why doesn't he back pay the child support he owes me, but claims he cannot afford to pay at the moment? What the hell?
  

I wanted to talk to my ex about it, but my children don't want him to know that they told me and broke the secret. What a dilemma. I feel so stupid. I wish those invitations didn't go out on Friday.

I feel total guilt by association right now. The sooner I can get this loser of an ex to move on, the better off my life will be.

Sigh.