Very Small World

I attended a dinner party at my aunt's place tonight. We had a nice time. Yes, that aunt, where I often feel judged etc etc. Don't ask. It was a family gathering. It's amazing how family can sometimes be the worst at pressuring and judging each other. I feel the most judgement from my divorce and religious decisions from these family members than I do from the rest of the world put together. Every time I go there I feel judged and like I'm looked down upon. Sigh.

I was talking to a friend on the way there, and describing where I was going, and what I was wearing. What I wear when I see these people is always an ordeal. I have to make sure the clothes are loose so they don't think I dress too provocatively. I have to make sure I wear long sleeves so they don't say "Oh look she took off the scarf AND the sleeves. Slut." I have to make sure that nothing is too sheer, and that my makeup isn't too prominent. Basically, I have to look like the pious mother, who went through unfortunate circumstances and had to get divorced, leaving her to be a single woman with nobody to love her for the rest of her pathetic days on this planet. No, I'm not kidding. I can face my scarf friends while I'm in short sleeves and makeup, but not my scarf aunt. Double sigh.

Anyhow, I told my friend that I was wearing a flower printed long sleeved Indian outfit, and yes, my hair is neatly tied in a bun. He howled. "Are you kidding? Can I see you?" No. You may not. And stop laughing. "Do you look homely? I can't believe you're wearing something like that. No, I can't believe you OWN something like that". Oh yes I do, and I am. Sad isn't it? The things we do just to avoid "hearing it" from family.

Anyhow. I'm at their home for dinner, and my brother in law who is a school Vice Principal is talking about how he had to go to another nearby school and sit in as acting Vice Principal there so that their VP and Principal could go to a funeral on Thursday. Apparently, some teacher's husband went and jumped off a bridge and so those guys were going to the funeral to support their co-worker. I froze. Small world isn't it?

I found it odd that my friend's almost ex wife (who apparently has now been positioned as the loving wife) told everyone in her circle (including the school where she works) that he jumped off the bridge, but was telling our office that nobody was to know this information. I don't get it. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he jumped at lunch time. I still find that part weird. Something had to have happened that day. I hardly think he got up with the intention of killing himself, but decided to go into work in the morning and wait till his lunch hour to go to the bridge. That wouldn't make sense. I wonder if his final straw was something work related? Gosh I find that thought scary.

Anyhow...like I said, very small world.