The Corporate World is a Superficial World

I'm coming to terms with this fact. I've just been through a bit of a phase where I was totally anti-corporate for a few weeks. I think a few things led up to it...

1. When my boss was let go. It wasn't so much the fact that he was let go (I mean, that did bug me), but it was the way it happened. After over 30 years with the company, I personally didn't like the way it was handled. But, I've now come to terms with the fact that business is business, and sometimes, companies have to do not-so-nice things in order to maintain their rules, their plans, their policies. It's nothing personal, just basic business.
2. Going through the re-org- I found it kind of cold the way people were going to be shuffled around with no sense of what they were doing or where they would end up. Then again, that's kind of the point. Businesses have to go about their work without focusing on feelings and emotions etc. After all, how else would they become profitable? To remain competitive and make money for their shareholders and keep their standing as an organization in the market, they have to look at the bottom line. It's just business. Again, nothing personal.
   
3. When Syd died. This was hard for me. Harder was the fact that I was the only one around hit really hard by his death. I know I was closer to him than most people, but at the end of the day, some people basically seemed like I shouldn't have been that upset. That just upset me more. It made me feel like I was not allowed to be human if I want to maintain a career in the corporate world. Like I would have to become some kind of mutant, cold, hard, be-otch or something. If that's the case, someone as emotional as me will never fit in. Where I am now is that:

• I understand that I was more upset than most because Syd and I were very good friends, but that there was a combination of things: If you manage people, you are expected to bounce back faster, because you are expected to lead by example. If it sounds cold, that's because it is. But I kind of get it. I mean, if a manager breaks down, then some may lose respect for them. Others may not. That's just one of the risks of the corporate world.
  
• Part of the issue may have been my perception around what people were thinking. I'm not sure if they were awkward because they lost respect for me, or if it were just that they didn't know what to say. Either way, still awkward. The corporate world is DEFINITELY not good with emotions or feelings.

So where I am today, is that yes, the corporate world is many things:

• Harsh- they can't worry about feelings or emotions or even the human element for too long if it means an impact to their core business. Business is business. The best a corporation can do is do the best they can to treat their people with respect, fair pay, and a decent benefits package whenever possible. Everything else is driven by the bottom line. Nothing personal, it's just the way it has to be.
  
• It is not an emotional place. This is especially difficult when someone is an emotional person (like me). Truth be told, if you want to survive in the corporate world, you have to either learn to suck it up, or find a new place to work that is less corporate. What does that mean for me? I'm not sure. I mean, while you can't be emotional in the corporate world, you can be human, but only to a limit. I need to decide if that will work for me. Maybe I would be a better fit in the public sector, or a not-for-profit company, or a smaller company. But like I said, I'm not sure.
• Not loyal. No company in corporate North America is ever going to be loyal to anyone. Never. So, there is no need to develop feelings of loyalty towards a company in return. A job is a job, and a career is a career, but at the end of the day, every person needs to look out for their own interests, just as every company will certainly do the same. Nothing personal.
• Superficial- what you wear, who you know, what organizations you belong to, how broad your network is, these are all relevant factors. It's all about appearances. I never really believed this one before, but I'm starting to realize it now. As sick as it is, that's the God honest truth.

I always knew this about the corporate world. I mean, I'm the one who while studying in the MBA program constantly reminded everyone that the corporate world is like a game of chess. You have to plan your next move, keep a straight face, and stick to the game. At the end of the day, it's all a game.

None of this has changed. But I think I was delusional for awhile there. I think working with an awesome boss and making awesome friends at the office cushioned me from the realities of the corporate world. But now, as it all unravels, I was looking at everything in shock. There is nothing to be shocked about. I think I knew this all along, but I never realized how lucky I was. You never appreciate what you have till it's gone. Now, as I find myself in just another typical corporate world, I've become disillusioned, and disappointed.

The good news is, I've snapped out of it for the most part. I realize where I am, and what this means. I also realize that somewhere along the way, I've changed too. When I was in business school, I was more aggressive, more driven. After two children and a divorce, I'm in a different head space altogether. Where I once thrived on the long work week, I now dread it. Where I once loved the game, I now find it tiresome and insensitive. It might be the mother in me, it might be the stuff I've been through. It might be that I've changed. But here is the reality- I have changed, and so, maybe the environment around me needs to change as well. Then again, maybe not. Maybe I still have a bit of the corporate girl in me.

I do work for a good company, and I do recognize that as much as I am sitting here describing the insensitive corporation, it has also been beneficial for me. I did, after all, obtain my freedom from my ex, because of the financial independence my corporate career gave me. I also benefited from a lot of understanding from the office while I went through the divorce. True, it was my boss's kindness, but then again, he is also a product of the corporate world, and he could only have supported me as much as the company's policies would allow him/empower him to do. Again, it's all about perspective, and I'm starting to realize it's a bit of a love/hate relationship too.

So for now, I'm going to ride out this re-org and stay where I am. In a year or so, I'm going to give corporate North America another evaluation, and then decide where I want to be.

Who knows? Maybe I'll find that after doing some research, the grass is pretty green on this side of the fence after all.