Why Would you Marry such a Bad Man?

Well, isn't that the million dollar question? But here is the funny thing- it came from the most bizarre place. It came from my children. They actually sat me down and asked me about my ex. My daughter asked why we aren't married anymore. I said that sometimes grown ups just can't work things out. Then they asked me if it was because he is such a mean guy. I was shocked. I looked at them for a second, opened my mouth to speak and then closed it again. I didn't know how to respond. Then my son asked if it was because he would hurt my children. I am wondering what the heck goes on in that house, because they should not be asking me this stuff. So I said yes. I wanted to make sure my children were safe, and that's part of the reason why we aren't together. Then my daughter blurts out "Why would you marry such a bad man? Didn't you think of asking him if he was the mean kind or nice kind before marrying him?". UM. If only the world were that simple. And honest.

But here is the thing- this line of questioning is SO seriously messed up. I mean, these are KIDS. Shouldn't they be, I dunno- playing or rolling in the grass or something? And here is the other thing...I left partly because I didn't want to answer these questions later...and here they are. I always feared that my children would hit their teenage years, see their dad for the jerk that he is and sit me down to tell me off for ruining their lives by staying with such a man. I always thought they would say "Why didn't you just leave? Why do we have to go through this?" Yet- here I am, answering the same question, and I actually did the best I could, and I acutally did leave- early in their lives.

So- back to the conversation- I had no answer. I told them that I didn't realize what he was like when we got married. That's the truth. And my daughter said "Why didn't you ask him?" so I said "Well, most people don't tell you that stuff when you ask honey". Her response... "Don't worry mommy- God will take care of it. If he lied and told you he was good and he really turned out bad, where do you think he will go when he dies? Do you think God will send him to heaven? No way- he will never go there. Then he will be sorry".

UM- WTF? Why the bitterness? What the heck is going on? I have NEVER heard my kids talk like that. I wonder what goes on at his house. I mean he's married, his wife seems nice enough. If he were hurting them physically I would probably know, especially since they are in therapy. At a minimum, the therapist would know by now. I'm guessing that he yells alot which wouldn't be too much of a surprise, and it would explain their frustration with him. Poor kids.

Honest to God that man is SO beyond messed up. And he's screwing up the kids in the process. He should have to pay their entire therapy bill for life. After all, he created the mess. Sigh. Rant over.