Happy Father's Day to Me

After all, I am pretty much the mother and father. Well, they have a biological father, but any man can donate sperm. It takes a person of character to be a real father. Unfortunately, my children don't have a real father. They have a dysfunctional, authoritative and abusive man in their life who they happen to call a father. That would explain why my daughter keeps telling me to get married so that she can have a stepfather. Most children would never ask for that. Mine do. Explain that to me.

Anyhow, I got a call yesterday from my ex's loudmouth lawyer. This would be his 3rd lawyer in 3 months. My guess is that he couldn't get along with the first two, but hey- what do I know.

Anyhow, the lawyer was demanding that his client have access to the children on father's day. I told him that my ex is an abusive man and is inappropriate with the children, so he cannot have access, especially given the CAS case. He then accused me of opening the case to be manipulative. I told him to watch the accusations because I never opened the case, and he has no right to make those assumptions. Then he started yelling at me and telling me that I am restricting access to the children out of spite and that he intends to use it against me in court. Then I told him that he needs to watch his tone of voice with me or I will refuse to speak to him. He told me he has a 15 year history in family law and he wouldn't stand for what I was doing. I told him I have a 15 year history being abused by his client and I wouldn't stand for further abuse, whether it be from my ex, or his lawyer. Then he shut up and requested that I at least allow supervised visits. I agreed, provided that they suggest a reasonable supervisor. I told him that he should come up with a supervisor. He told me "surely there is someone in this world that you don't hate that can be used to supervise". I told him that he would need to get to know his client better, because the issue isn't that I can't find anyone I don't hate, rather, he won't be able to find anyone willing to supervise, because he doesn't have any friends or family willing to do it for him. He scoffed. I gave him two names. (my ex's brothers) Two hours later, he called me back saying they were "nowhere to be found". Of course not. They can't stand him and they don't want to be involved. This lawyer has no idea what he is in for.

Anyhow, I find it funny that my ex, the fundamentalist Muslim who just finished sending me a letter about how the children will no longer be allowed to celebrate "non Muslim secular/mainstream holidays" is making such a big deal about father's day. He never once celebrated father's day before. In fact, he said that father's day was the "North American way of getting people to appreciate their parent's, where a good Muslim would celebrate father's day every day". So in principle, he didn't believe in it. Isn't it funny how the fundos pick and choose how their religion should work?

Anyhow, the document that he sent me a week back actually has all kinds of crazy stuff in it, like the children are no longer allowed to celebrate non-Muslim secular holidays like Easter, Halloween, Christmas etc. Nice. Freak. I celebrate all holidays with my kids. Back off. He wants them to attend only Islamic School. Hmmm....I don't know a court in the country that would enforce that. And he wants them to have "proper Islamic upbringing". That would be the perfect catch all phrase for a fundo. Well- F-U. There won't be any of that. How about I ask the court for permission to change my religion and raise the children void of any one faith? Let's see what they do then.

Anyhow- he also wants the passports to reside with him 50% of the time. Why- so you can take off with my kids? I don't think so.

Honestly, this man is so beyond crazy, I think he needs to be in a mental institution.

Regardless of all this, I'm holding on strong. One day, I'm going to take up this cause on a permanent basis and help other women survive domestic abuse. Jerky men never let you move on. Never.

Well, anyways, Happy Father's Day to me.