Mothers have the Weirdest Connection with their kids

My mom and dad came back from their vacation today. I took the children for a visit, and of course to see them myself. While my dad was taking a nap, and the kids were playing, my mom came and sat next to me. She asked how I was doing. I told her I was doing well. Those of you who know me know that I'm hardly a poker face. She smiled and asked me if I was going to tell her the truth, or if she was going to have to drag it out of me. I smiled and said I was fine. Then she went on to tell me that she knew I wasn't fine, because she had a dream during her vacation.

90% of you are going to think this is nuts, so just stop reading here. For the other 10% of you, my mom has a weird history of very accurate dreams. She saw my grandmother (her mom) in a coffin the day BEFORE she died. She woke up insanely upset (naturally), and immediately tried calling Pakistan to see if she was OK. She's dreamt about various different things - my pregnancy before I even told her, and that it was a boy (it was, but we didn't know that before he was born). Anyhow, I don't usually believe in this stuff, but for whatever reason, I DO believe in her dreams.

Anyhow, I asked her to humor me. What was your dream, why was it so upsetting, and when did you have it? For the when did you have it- it was the night of my son's breakdown. I later found out that she called my brother the next day from Malaysia to find out if I was OK, and he lied and said that I was totally fine and that she should enjoy her vacation and stop dreaming nonsense. He swears that he never told her the truth, yet she knew something was wrong.

Her dream was freaky. She saw me sitting on the floor crying, and my son sitting next to me distressed. She said that I was crying and distressed to the point of not listening to anyone, and that I was fully focused on my son who was also upset. That was THE NIGHT of his breakdown. She said she couldn't shake the dream. Then I told her what had happened that night. We were both silent. Spooky.

I haven't blogged about what happened the night of the breakdown, but basically, we were out, he broke down emotionally, started crying, started running into oncoming traffic, all the while talking about how much he wanted to die, that nobody understood how hard things were for him, that he felt like nobody cared. When I got him home, he sat in the corner in a fetal position, just crying and not letting me near him. He didn't want to talk. I sat about two feet away, on the floor, cross legged, crying and begging him to come to my lap and let me just hold him. That he could trust me. That I loved him. That everything would be OK. That went on until midnight. My mom saw almost the exact same thing in her dream. And nobody had told her.

I'm not saying she's psychic or anything dumb like that...just that- I dunno- she has weird dreams about the people she's deeply connected with. I'm still spooked out by it.

On another note, I did end up meeting with my ex's wife yesterday. That was...interesting I suppose. She didn't seem to know as much detail about his temperamental past (surprise surprise), and she seemed to be trying to find a middle ground for us, like a mediator. I had to tell her that we are well past the mediation phase, unfortunately. But thanks for trying.

On any account, I suppose it helps to get to know her a bit. She will, after all, be spending a lot of time with my children...possibly, depending on how the April 26 court date goes.

And another thing- she wanted to know if my kids could attend the wedding. My first knee jerk reaction was to say no. But then again, they've been wanting to go, and they've been asking about it too. I came to a compromise. My former brother in law (the one I get along with) can take them for 4 hours, provided that he doesn't let me ex be alone with them at all. Not for a conversation, not anything. He would have to be present where ever the kids go that evening. I trust him a lot, and for many reasons. She had asked for the entire weekend, and I basically emailed her today saying no to that. At the end of the day, I don't trust my ex, and I don't want him to have too much access to them at the moment. He's done enough damage already. Four hours at his own wedding should keep them pretty protected I think, because really- he won't be able to have "quality time" while he's at his reception. He'll be too busy taking pictures. My children, who have been wanting to go will get to go, and I get to ensure they are protected. Sounds like a reasonable plan I think. My lawyer agrees, but says not to do more than this.

I will, however, be on pins and needles that night. This is pushing my comfort zone.