Some Good Friends

Well, the weekend is almost over....I'll soon be able to throw myself into work and get my mind off the upcoming divorce papers. Except...My son seems to be getting the start of a cold, so if that doesn't get better, I may not go in tomorrow.

This weekend has felt a bit like I've been hit by a Mac Truck. I'm exhausted from all the emotion. My eyes are swollen and puffy, and I've barely slept. But as usual my friends have been awesome, and hey, I'm still standing.

One girlfriend came over on Friday night to drop off some ice cream. She didn't know what was up, and to be honest, I didn't really want her over...I kind of wanted to sit alone and just...I don't know...Sulk. She came in, took one look and me and stayed till around midnight. I'm so glad that she did. It made me realize that I wasn't crazy for feeling this way, and reassured me that no matter what, I would be fine.

Then there was my sister, who on Saturday gave me my practical dose of reality. Why on earth would you shed a single tear when you've spent the past 12 years covering bruises with makeup. Yes it sucks that the marriage ended, and that you have children who will inevitably have a rough time...But what options do you have...Wait until he tries to choke them again? True. Harsh, but true. I needed that.

Then there was today. I tried to spend the day alone, but my mom insisted that I be at her house for dinner. Apparently my sister told her what had happened. Family is awesome....They won't let you wallow in self pity. Not even for a second.

I also spoke to my girlfriend who is also separated. She basically told me to hold to my faith...To trust that God will take care of me, and that something good will come in the future. I know it will...She's right. She's also right that I should make sure we both handle this with integrity and kindness. Don't part on bad terms. Be kind to one another. You have children that you will be parenting together forever. That's an important shared responsibility.

Then there was my Friday night ice-cream friend's husband (also my friend) who reassured me that it's normal to feel like this, that I'm not made of stone, and that no matter how hard the marriage became in the end, it was still a 12 year marriage and a 20 year relationship...You can't just forget that or sign it away without feeling something. He's right, I can't. That just wouldn't be me.

Still, I'm hoping the next few weeks will go by fast. They're going to be really difficult. If nothing else, at least I'll have closure.