Happy Eid

Well, its Eid. Finally here. I spent the morning bathing and dressing the children so they could look great for their visit to my ex-in laws. Although I haven't kept in touch of most of my ex's family, I did keep in touch with his eldest brother. I called him this morning to wish him well.

Getting the children dressed for their visit was quite an undertaking, because I wanted them to look perfect. Didn't want to give the ex's the opportunity to feel that I don't take care of my children, that they don't look great, or that I don't dress them well enough.

My children looked fabulous. I dressed them in traditional Indian clothing, and they looked as cute as ever. Its kind of funny because they definitely looked very Indian and stylish in their garb, but really- very little about them has connected with the culture- other than their love for the clothing, and for butter chicken. My children don't particularly like Indian food and they don't speak or even understand the language. Yet another thing to worry about, I suppose.

I'm sure the conversation at my ex-in-laws this morning will undoubtedly touch on the fact that I was a white-washed mother (they always thought that), who was unable to pass culture, traditions, and language to my children. I know it would have been better for them to have at least learned the language, but come on- I don't speak it all that well, and so where would they have learned it from? The one year that I lived with my parents, my mom would try to talk to them in Urdu, but really, she speaks English so often that even she was not very successful. My kids would just look at me and comment that their grandmother "talks funny". Oh well- can't take the world's burden on my shoulders. I've decided not to ask the children too much about their visit with the extended clan this morning, cuz really, I don't think I want to know details of what goes on. Ignorance is bliss, so I'd like to keep it that way. I'll ask if they had a nice time, and leave it at that.

As for this evening's dreaded family reunion, I'm bracing myself. I've decided that the safest place for me tonight will be in the kitchen helping my mom. Nobody will ask personal questions in her presence, so I'll be safe there. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I might get by without the comments I'm anticipating from my aunt. Here's to hoping.

Its funny- a few years back at Christmas time, I was at Blockbuster video. I asked them if they would be open on Christmas day and the guy said "of course- that's our busiest day of the year!" I was shocked and asked how xmas could be so busy...He said that it was cuz everyone is forced to spend the time with family and when they get together once in a year, there isn't much to say or do, so they resort to renting movies. I recall thinking that this was a really sad state and was grateful at the time that Eid was not like that for me.

Today, post separation, and finding myself as the social leper of the Pakistani community, I completely understand the sentiment. In fact, a little outing to Blockbuster might not be such a bad idea. I think I'll take my card with me just in case I need it. In case I need a break from the judgment, the questions, the pressure...Whatever.

The afternoon from 3-7 will be fine, in fact I'm looking forward to it, cuz that's just my immediate family, and that's when the children will get their gifts etc. Its the evening I'm a bit worried about. Then again, I could always use the kids as an excuse and leave by 10 (after dinner and dessert) if things get difficult.
Either way, I am mentally prepared. I've spent two whole days mentally preparing. And you know what? My daughter and I can always bust out the Barbies to pass the time if I need it. Instant stress relief. I LOVE it! :-) The kids make an awesome excuse...Oh so-and-so is tired. Oh, so-and-so is cranky- Oh the kids want ice cream so I'm taking them to Baskin Robbins. Like I said- I have spent two days ensuring that I am prepared for tonight. Bring it on. :-)