Happiness vs. Stress

I spoke to a girlfriend last night, and she had an interesting perspective. We talked about this ulcer, and I expressed my disappointment in myself. I told her that I thought that I had come a long way, and that this made me feel like I was a bit delusional...Again.

She spoke to me about happiness. She said that in all the years that she's known me, she's never seen me this happy or calm. Yes, I have a busy lifestyle, but I seemed to be in an entirely different space altogether. I agreed with her in that. The stress in my life is about calendar, stuff to do, capacity at work, etc. I would describe it as physical stress. But the truth is, I don't really feel any emotional stress. I feel much calmer, and much more at peace these days. So she pointed out that an ulcer doesn't mean that I'm not better off, or that I haven't done well, but it does mean I still have to slow down. Nobody's perfect, right?

Well, that made me feel better, and I think she's right. She pointed out that moving was the next biggest stress next to death of a spouse and divorce. That's true. I just went through a move, a new adjustment for me and the children, and I had to deal with issues around the divorce. So maybe I'm just being too hard on myself? These things ARE stressful, but I do think I'm handling them well. At the same time, I think comments like the one about me needing to park the blackberry are also accurate. I could help myself slow down if I really tried. I'm going to try those suggestions as well. One step at a time, right?

One thing that my friend told me yesterday was that she saw a difference in my children. That they seemed calmer and happier, and I think she was being honest. And, she said, "not calmer and happier and doing well GIVEN your situation. Just overall- no qualifiers". So, if they seem to be doing well, and better than before, and I feel more at ease, I guess the only stuff left to do is manage the capacity stuff....But accept that the emotional element is well on its way. That I can deal with.

Thank God for awesome friends. Where would we be without them?