Weekend Update

Here is what has transpired since my last entry:

My children had a therapy session on Friday afternoon. It did not go well. My son didn't seem to want to go and by the time we got there he was in a full blown tantrum. I had to carry him up to the doctor's office and forcibly keep him in the room with me. He didn't talk at all with her, but he let me recount the weeks events and he sat there curled in a ball in the corner the whole time. When he had enough, he started telling me "No more talking". The therapist says this is normal (WOW), mostly because he has been so silent since the police visit. She says her office represents a place where the children come to talk in a safe environment about their dad, their fears etc, and that she feels it is understandable why in a stressful week he would not want to come, and would not want to talk. He just wasn't ready. He said a few passing things about being hurt and angry with his dad, but that was it. We have another appointment on Saturday next week, so we can try again then. At least he let me speak about it. She says that was promising.

I spent the rest of the weekend on "nothing". We did nothing stressful. Went to the theater to see National Treasure 2, rented a movie (Evan Almighty), played video games, did homework and visited a few friends today. The therapist said that I should let the weekend be one big outlet...no pressure, no chores, no talking about "it" unless they open up. I stuck to the plan. It worked very well. Today, my children seem a lot more relaxed. Mission accomplished.

As for me, you might be wondering what it did for "me". I did a couple of things. I called my old therapist and setup appointments with him for myself. Good start right? Graham was open to seeing me, so I'm happy about that, and looking for the emotional outlet myself. This is all a bit more than I had bargained for. The second thing I did is that I went to the gym both days this weekend. But, not only did I go to the gym, I went to 2 exercise classes. One ball fusion, and one step class. This may not sound like a big deal, but here is a bit of background- I've always wanted to do a step class, but have been too scared. I tried it once about 10 years back (when I was lean and fit) and to my surprise, I couldn't keep up for more than 10 minutes. I felt so bad, I never went back again. This time, I went in, and lasted the whole class! Maybe all that cardio work is paying off. It was such a thrill and I feel great. Little pieces of silver lining during the storm I guess.

Now- back to the storm...here is my plan for this week. I'm going to just sit back and let things unfold. I have spent the entire weekend stressing over the situation, and where I am now is that I realize that this is going to go however it is meant to. It is clearly not in my hands, and we have a greater power guiding things, so I'm just going to sit back and wait until I can add value.

With my ex, my lawyer always said to leave him alone. She said if I give him enough rope, he will hang himself (figuratively speaking of course). That is exactly what he has done. He couldn't have picked a worse time to spank the kids. I mean, we are in the middle of a parental assessment. Even if they don't press charges, having your access moved to a supervision centre cannot look good on his parenting abilities, right?

Let's see what happens. With any luck, maybe this time, he won't get out of it so easily. Maybe this time, he will have to face the consequences of his actions and continuous ploys to cover them up.