Probably Not Charge...

And that is OK with me. I just spoke to the officer. He hasn't met with my ex yet, but will be meeting with him tomorrow at the police station. It sounds like my ex has hired a criminal lawyer, who will be attending either with him, or on his behalf. Either way, he has been advised that he will not be seeing the children for the next while.

I asked the lawyer in detail what the criteria is for pressing charges. He said it's usually when the evidence speaks out so loudly that it cannot be disputed in court. For example, a father picks up a chair and hits a child with it, resulting in broken bones and xray reports. This of course is nothing like that.

The officer acknowledged that he has seen all the police reports of domestic issues with his second wife. He sees them as a pattern of a mental issue, or anger issue. But charges were never laid before, so they are hard to lay now. Fatima should have charged when she had the chance. More importantly, I should have charged when I had the chance. My bruises were telling. What goes around comes around doesn't it? Had I taken care of this back then, I wouldn't be sitting here in this situation right now.

Anyhow, it's OK if they don't press charges. I see how bruising from a spanking (when spanking is legal) is difficult compared to a total beating. I told the officer as long as we protect the children, that is what matters.

His recommendation will be no access in the short term, and supervised access in the long term, with no periods of time unsupervised and supervision can only be provided by the CAS themselves in a supervision centre.

I still feel sorry for him. I just don't understand what is wrong with me. I feel like I have done something horrible, yet he is the one who hurt the kids. I feel angry at him for hurting them, but sorry for him too, mostly because of his mental condition. I wish he would just go on the medication and make everyone's life easier.