So I called the officer back yesterday. They are still trying to reach my ex. The decision they need to make is whether to press charges or not. I asked what their deciding criteria is. They said they need to determine if this is a bad parent, or a criminal. Bad parents get less time/controlled environments with their children. Criminals have charges pressed against them. I think he is leaning towards not pressing charges. I understand, but it feels like my ex has nine lives. I should have pressed charges when we were married. Fatima should have pressed charges, but she changed her statement during one of the police visits. This time, it looks like he will walk again.
The main thing, however, is the safety of the children, and I'm hoping they will, at minimum, uphold that.
The CAS has given me a letter. It's worded a bit funny, but it does the trick for now. Basically, it states that their recommendation is that the children have no access to their father until their investigation is complete. It talks about what has transpired, the police involvement, etc. In the last paragraph, it says that they see me as a protective parent and my home as a protective home for the children. It also says that if I were to send the children to their father, it would compromise their regard of me as a protective parent. Basically, if I send them, they would take the children away from me for not being able to protect them.
Here is the kicker. I am going to be in contempt of court. You see, the CAS is not above the court. They cannot over-ride a court order. I have a court order that is not as vague as the last one. This one clearly states that the children are to see their father every other weekend and it includes drop off/pick up times. He could, technically show up with the police. I could also technically be charged. I am told that if that happens, I have this letter, and while they can try to charge me, the charges wouldn't stick. I find this a little weird. Personally, I think it would have been better for the CAS to go to the judge and get an interim emergency order that changes arrangements until their investigation is complete. But they won't do that.
Today, I am working from home. I really don't think I will get much done as I am exhausted, have a massive headache, and my eyes are burning from lack of sleep. I got the children a 2pm appt with their therapist (they need it), so let's see how that goes. Hopefully they will feel a bit better emotionally. My son is a bit upset. He says he doesn't like to "talk about these things" but that he was forced to tell the truth the other day because you can't lie to a police officer. I feel so bad.
It doesn't help that my family has different opinions on what is going on. Some of them think that I should leave it alone, its a mark, but the first time, so let it go and don't let the police be involved. Others agree that it's only the beginning and going to get worse. I obviously share the latter opinion, but you can totally see the Desi culture coming out here. I think I need this weekend on my own.
I think the police will be talking to my ex today. I finally fell asleep around 5 am and woke up at 6:30am to a telephone call. I was dazed and couldn't hear correctly so I hung up. The phone rang like 10 times after that and I was in the washroom. I later checked the number and realized it was my ex. I decided not to call him back. I'm guessing he knows by now about the police involvement and he's mad. I'm guessing he wants information. But I don't think anything good would come out of a conversation with him right now. I might say things that won't be very nice.
But here is the really screwed up part. I feel sorry for him. I am infuriated for what he did, for him refusing the meds and creating a mess of our lives. My other side sees the mental illness, knows he isn't 100% in control of what he is doing, and I feel sad for him.
I know- it's all a bit too messed up.
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