Disclosed at Last

I have been waiting for the children to disclose something somewhere. It just hasn't been happening. This 3rd CAS visit did not honestly bring me much hope, as they have been very unhelpful so far and have only been hurting the situation more by closing files, implying that there are no concerns. I'm hearing that this time will now be different.

You see, my daughter disclosed information that she hasn't disclosed to a case worker so far. I think the key difference this time is that the worker did a second interview with the children, at their school, on Thursday. The previous intake workers would just interview the children, and close the file. I mean, seriously, what child would tell their life story to a complete stranger the first time they meet them? This worker took the time to get to know the children. She spent an hour just chatting and playing with them about school toys, etc on Monday, THEN went to the school on Thursday to ask them other questions. Smart.

Anyhow, here is what my daughter said. My son disclosed nothing. I don't blame him. He is terrified of his dad and very emotionally blackmailed by him. But the case worker did call me to tell me what she said:

• Dad tells us not to tell anyone anything
• I get blamed for everything if someone tells
• My brother will tell on me if I tell so I will get in trouble alone
• My dad is scared of us telling mom when he spanks us, so he makes sure we don't tell Mommy anything
• He spanks us all the time
• I don't like dad's apartment- It is small and always dirty
• My dad is so mean to us
• He hurts our feelings all the time
• One time he poured water on our heads as punishment
• You won't tell my daddy that I told you will you? If you do, he will kill us.
  
• Daddy is mad every second of the day
• Mommy is lots of fun and gives us lots of hugs and kisses
• Her house is big and clean
• She never spanks us
  

There aren't enough words to describe how I felt when I heard this. It was as if someone took my heart and ripped it to pieces and I was standing there watching the pieces fly away. When the CAS worker called me with the update on Thursday, I had to go in a conference room at work and just cry. I need this to end more than I need anything else right now.

My daughter is my new hero. Good for her for finding the courage to speak up. What a brave little girl.

Based on this, they said they will NOT be closing the file. It will be left open for ongoing service, meaning a permanent social worker for the next few months. That has so be good, right? I mean, this is what I had asked for all along. How sick that someone like me has to beg for the CAS to be involved. Very few parents in this world can say that they WANT the CAS to be having regular visits to their home. But here I am.

Next steps, they will interview doctors etc, and then contact my ex next week.

Keep your fingers crossed my friends.

In the meantime, we had our first assessment meeting. It went OK. The assessor says it will take until April to complete the assessment. I am really praying that April will mark the end of all this garbage.