It Was One Year Ago Today...

That Syd died. It was one year ago tomorrow when I found out that he had died.

I woke up today and prayed for him. I hope that he is at peace. He was a great guy, but he just didn't reach out to all the resources he had available to him. It's sad and tragic, and he left a hole in many people's lives, but I think it has been the hardest for his children and his girlfriend. His girlfriend by the way, is probably one of the strongest, most positive people I have ever met. I would have met her a week after his passing, as they were to come to my place for dinner. I ended up connecting with her a week after his passing anyhow, via email. Somehow, I think we were destined to meet, one way or another.

For a couple of minutes, I was debating going over to the Leaside bridge, perhaps just for the closure. I've driven under the bridge less than 10 times since his passing, (and I usually avoid going near it), and I haven't driven on it since he died. I was going to do it today, but I think today is not the right day to do that. There will be other days.

Over the past year, I think I have definitely healed, but I do miss him. I miss his friendship. I miss his emails. I miss his pages to my blackberry. I miss his support. I hope he's in a better place.

Just thinking about that time of year, I remember how many things snowballed at once. My boss of many years was let go, and shortly after that, Syd told me it was time for me to move on professionally. He told me to change departments, or leave the company altogether. A few weeks after that, he committed suicide. That de-railed things for me more than anything I could imagine. Right after that, it was the office re-org, which quite frankly went over miserably, and left me feeling de-moralized. Things only started to look up when I got the clean break and started the new job. That job was exactly what I needed. I got rid of the emotional baggage that was tied to my last boss and Syd, and I felt valued again. Thank God for the change.

Anyhow. Here I am, right in the middle of a court case. 2007 is winding down and all I can say is that it went really fast. I thought 2007 would be my year. Looking at it so far, I can't say that it was my year, but I can say it was better than the last year. Let's see how it turns out.

Anyhow, like I said, I hope Syd is at peace, wherever he may be. I still find myself asking "I wonder what Syd would say", or "I wonder what Syd would do".

Where ever he may be, he still has an impact on my life, and it's still positive.

Rest in peace my friend.