Why are Relationships so Fickle?

I've been wondering about this one for awhile. And before anyone asks, it's not about being bitter. I actually don't think that I am bitter at all. I think the experiences that I've had have taught me a great deal about life, about the importance of valuing a good thing when you have it, and of walking away if you're in a really bad situation. All important lessons. It is unfortunate that I had to learn them the way that I did, but I'm a stronger and better person as a result.

Being another divorce statistic has, however, got me wondering why this is so common. I mean, I look around me and divorce is so common here in North America. I have friends who are married to amazing guys and want to leave because, well "He's a lot of fun, we get along great, but I just don't love him anymore." This is just so lame. I guess the fact that you have children is irrelevant. Couldn't you have figured out that you don't love him BEFORE you married him? What the heck?

And there are people like myself who pathetically hold on for 11 years, only to realize that while people are capable of change, you cannot force another person to change, nor can you put yourself in a bad situation while you wait or hope for them to realize that they need to change.

Let's open a whole other can of worms and bring up the amount of people that get divorced as a result of having an affair. These are the people who just should never have gotten married in the first place. Really, if you don't have the maturity to deal with relationship issues, and your solution is to have an affair, you shouldn't even be allowed to marry.

And then, there is the other category. The people who are afraid to marry. I'm not saying that I don't understand this sentiment, given how high divorce rates are these days. But I've met some genuinely nice people who would be awesome husbands or wives and just don't marry because they are afraid of making a mistake. It's all so very sad. I almost wish we could somehow pick out all the good people, set them up with eachother, find all the cheaters, set them up with eachother, and find all the rest and let them fend for themselves. But I guess the world just doesn't work that way.

People have very little integrity these days, especially where relationships are concerned. They are afraid of being honest. They are afraid of showing their true feelings. They are either too afraid of commitment, or don't take it seriously and end up messing things up. What a sad, sad state. It almost makes me want to stay single forever. I said ALMOST.

And that is the kicker. We as humans are almost programmed to keep looking for that match...To keep hoping that one day, we will find the perfect person, knowing full well that perfection doesn't even exist. And then when we marry or get into a relationship, we realize we haven't found perfection (well duh!) and we kill whatever we do have. It's actually quite sad.

No I'm not depressed, nor am I being pathetic. Just observing. I think this world needs a good dose of integrity. I think people need to learn what a commitment is, and they need to understand the importance of appreciating what you do have, and counting your blessings when you have it. (Rant Over) :-)