I guess that pretty much sums it up. Today's personal thought- why do some experiences scar us for a long period of time (like years), and others somehow make us stronger? I have several friends who are separated or divorced and while some people had worse experiences than others, it's hard to tell which of us will heal, and which of us will have a harder time healing. I'm wondering what the magic formula actually is.
Why do some people manage to move on from traumatic experiences, while others are haunted by them? Is it luck of the draw? Is it denial that makes the problem prolonged for an extended period of time? What can we as people do to help things along, and how do we know if what we are doing will be enough, say, several years from now?
Healing is a funny process. We can't always know what will make us heal. We can't know what mistakes we are making until after we have made them. Life is so funny sometimes.
Either way, I'm hoping that I'm on a good track to permanent healing. I think I am. I mean, while I feel a bit sad in a nostalgic way that my 11 year marriage is coming to an end, I am, at the same time, very much relieved, and have no desire to go back. That has to be a good sign. I'm also very much ready to move on and enjoy life, whatever that may entail.
I just realized this- I am no longer having those nightmares about the abuse. Somehow during the 3 weeks that I took off work, the nightmares stopped. My sleeping patterns aren't perfect, but at least they are no longer traumatic. That has to be a good sign.
Yep, I think I'm on my way. Everything seems to be falling in place. Naturally, I can't know for sure until several years have passed, but I'm hoping that I'm doing all the right things. If nothing else, moving on in a healthy way has been a top priority for me. Thank God I managed to finally recognize the importance of self care.
No comments:
Post a Comment