The Crab

"When a crab is moving on a beach towards the water, it never crawls in a straight line. It goes to the side, the other side, backwards, forwards, but eventually, it does make it to the water.

This is your journey, and just like the crab, eventually, you too will get there. Have patience- you will get to where you need to be"...

Incredible words of wisdom from Dr. Clive. I go to see my M.D. at least once a month as a follow up to a hospital stay I had a year and a half ago. Funny who you meet in life, and what they end up contributing to you. Who would have guessed that an M.D. would make such an enormous contribution to me, but he has. It helps that I've known him since I was 3, and that he knows my entire family. He has this....perspective, of me, my family, the cultural challenges I've faced. But more importantly, I know that no matter what happens, I ALWAYS leave his office feeling reassured and re-charged. (Man! He should be a therapist!)

Its funny. In the past year and a half, I've learned alot about friendship, and about people. I've been through an insane time...hospitalized in March 2003- with what they thought was MS (but thankfully was not). Having to walk using a walker or a cane, I miraculously managed to walk on my own again (with the help of God)- thankfully over the span of just 2 weeks. Two months later, I made a decision to be happy and to change everything- I stopped wearing the Islamic headscarf, left my bi-polar (and incredibly difficult) husband, and moved in with my parents for a year to recover financially and emotionally. Financially, I did recover....as for emotionally, I'm still working on that. :-) The crab people...think of the crab :-)

Anyhow....here's my point. I learned some very valuable things about friendship. Going through massive hardships like this, you really learn who you can rely on, and who you can't. Fortunately for me, I've found that the world is actually a really great place. I have SO many people that have just saved me, I do feel truly blessed. Dr Clive, an MD, Dr Kim, a Naturopath, Dr Karen- a chiropractor- who all became sort of friends to me. Then there's my boss who was AWESOME- trust me guys, I really lucked out on this one. How many people get to work for someone and get to KNOW with 100% certainty that if you go through something really difficult, you will get both emotional support and an ear from someone who genuinely cares? Like I said, AWESOME. I remember when I left my ex, I called my boss and told him the story, asking for a couple of days off. The answer I got "take as long as you need....but that's not what matters...are YOU ok?". And you know what? He wasn't the only one.

I have this friend at work who- and I'm dead serious- walked by my desk several times a day every day just to say "are you ok? Nope- you do not look ok- let's get a conference room and chat"- and there she was- box of kleenex in hand, being an AWESOME shoulder to cry on.

I could go on and on and mention all the people who saved me this year (like my girlfriend who's a social worker and works in a women's shelter and personally fended off my ex about a million times)...but I'll stop :-) The point is, I got support from the TOTALLY weirdest places, and its been an awesome trip. I don't know where I would be without these awesome people around me.

And you know, its not just my friends, my doctors, my totally amazing family. Its people that you don't even expect it from. Like my co-workers. This colleague of mine a week ago, saw me just about throw a hissy fit as I hung up the phone with my ex. I sent this colleague an email from my blackberry on the GO train ride home and apologized for being unprofessional. You know what he said? "There's nothing to be embarrassed about- everyone has bad days....I hope everything is ok, and if its not, and you want to talk about it, you know where to find me". And you know what? I know he meant it. Like I said, the people around me are AWESOME. And all this from the girl who a few months back felt she had nothing. Its all about perspective.

You're right Dr. Clive....I will get there eventually, because I have so many supporters around me who have held me up.