Manic Engagement

This has been a mentally hectic few days. But I'm a strong gal, and I'm doing very well, if I do say so myself.

Thursday, I had to take care of some things at the office with my team. Final team conversations and such. It was a very hectic day, lots of paperwork, lots of running around, lots of meetings. On Thursday evening, I had to get back into the ongoing disputes with my ex. He's such a nuisance. So he basically wouldn't email me to confirm that I would get the children back on Sunday night. No reply. What a total complete ass. Anyhow, I ended up calling his lawyer and telling him that this was unacceptable.

It was more tense than it would have been, mostly because I was leaving for NY at 9am the next morning. I ended up going to NY to visit a friend, and while I was there, his lawyer emailed me, basically saying a bunch of junk, including that I had a 15 minute window to get the kids at noon on Sunday. Should I not arrive in those 15 minutes, he would get to keep them overnight. Now they are both asses. My flight was arriving home at 1pm Sunday, so I would end up missing the 15 minute window at noon. So, I called Mich from NY and she went at noon to get the kids. Saved by an angel.

Anyhow, I get home and I hear from the kids that their dad is getting married. I'm in disbelief. Are you serious? I mean- if this is true, I'm relieved that he may get off my back, but concerned for the kids. Isn't this the chick that he's been shacking up with for the past 3 weeks, and that he's known for all of six weeks? Weird. Stupid. He must be in another one of his bipolar manic episodes. I know those 'I'm-better-than-anyone-else' episodes all too well. I've seen his mental ups and downs for the past 14 years. And they are all ugly. This is just too freakish.

So I sign into msn today, and I can see him online. I have him blocked, so I can see him, but he can't see me. His message says 'happily engaged'. Try happily on a stupid rebound, but whatever. Some of us date people for months and won't dare get engaged, we just evaluate, evaluate, evaluate, and see it as an opportunity to enjoy life. Others get engaged after 6 weeks. I don't get it.

Then again, I was just talking to a friend, and he made a good point. If I were my ex, I would rush it too. I mean, how long before this girl realizes that he can't hold down a job, that he's a nutcase, and that he's a temperamental abusive man? That's right...it won't take long. So, if you wanna land a girl, and you're a bad catch yourself, you better get her hooked in and close the deal real fast. Desperate, but true. Now it all actually does make sense.

I am worried for the kids. He told them that they would HAVE to treat this girl the same as their mother. Well, that's just dumb. Why would you stress out the kids by commanding how they should feel about someone? If it were me, I would introduce them, let them get comfortable, ask for their opinion, and then tell them where we would like to go. I wouldn't do the "Hi, we're getting married, so you better treat her as good as you treat your mom" thing. Freak.

And besides, NOBODY can be the same as your mother. I did after all, sacrifice for them, carry them for 9 months, breastfeed each for a year (yes too much info)...so hell if anyone gets the same status as me. OK- I wouldn't have had a catty moment, had it not been for the stepping on my maternal territory thing :) I am human, right?

On another note...I should ask HIM if he wants to buy back my wedding ring. Tee hee. I'm sure it has SUCH good karma.

Anyhow, I fully intend to make this emotionally easy for the kids. I'll encourage them to go to the wedding if they want to, I'll encourage them to continue to talk openly about everything, I'll continue to be who I am. I could easily be the mean typical ex wife witch who turns the children against the new girl in his life, but that would only emotionally screw up my kids. Emotionally screwing them up is NOT an option. EVER. I prefer to think of myself as someone with at least a bit of class. Someone who can rest assured that she is a good person. And besides all that, this girl is diverting my ex's attention away from me. And that is FANTASTIC. If all goes well, planning a wedding should have him so distracted that he shouldn't have time to deal with me in any way. What a bonus that is.

So, despite his jerkiness, I'm going to take the high road, instead of the I'm-going-to-make-you-pay-for-your-assholeness road. Besides, 2007 is going to be my year. So hell if I lose myself anywhere in this process. I've actually realized that for the most part, I actually do like who I am. And that, I wouldn't trade for the world. I prayed that this would be the year where I would finally be free. It sounds like my prayers might just get answered. Cheers to my ex's new fiancee.