An evening with the children

I had to spend the past 3 nights at home with the kids in order to help my son get caught up on all his homework. My ex failed to do the homework with the children over the holidays, and failed to tell me that he had it, so the research assignment and book report due tomorrow wasn't even started. Thank God the teacher emailed me to ask me what was going on, or I wouldn't have even known the difference (my ex picked them up from school on the last day before Xmas holidays, as it was his weekend with the children).

Anyhow, we're almost done. I figure another hour and we should be good. Hey- my ex might have been flopping out of school (no, I am serious), but I am the anal, perfectionist mother. There is no way that I would allow my child to screw up his schooling.

Anyhow, a couple of funny things happened. My ex called for his regularly scheduled telephone call with the children. My son answered the phone and I could hear him talking to his dad. On the coffee table were my Oprah Magazines. I could hear him saying "Man, mom sure loves her book about the big O, it's always on the table". Kids have the darndest way of talking about the most insignificant things. But here's the funny thing- I think my ex thought I was reading up on a different big O. Haha. I could hear his reaction through the phone, "What big O? WHAT? What is your mother reading?"

"You know, those big books with the lady on the front and the big O in the top left hand corner".

"You mean Oprah? Are they magazines?"

"Yeah, those".

I just about peed my pants. Too funny. Go son, go! Then it was my daughter's turn on the phone. I proceeded to do my son's homework with him. In the background I heard her talking to her dad "My mommy says she's a princess. I told her there is no such thing as a princess without a prince. So I asked her if you could be her prince and she said no. Mommy will find another prince one day." Oh crap. Here we go. Inflame the jerk why don't you? I think he must have said something along the lines of "I don't need her for a princess. You're my princess", because I heard her say "No, I can't be your princess. I'm my brother's princess".

HA! You reap rewards for the seeds you sow. Treat em like crap, and they will be brutally honest about how they feel about you.

OK, I have to go. I just caught my kids making MAPLE BUTTER sandwiches. A guy at my office sells this cool maple butter stuff from his family's farm, and yeah, my kids are eating it for dessert. They turned down chocolate ice cream, and now I know why. That stuff is pure sugar. It's gonna be a loooooooong night. Sigh.

Never leave young children alone even for a couple of minutes. Never.