What a Week

It was a busy week. I got caught up on a lot of stuff at work. I'm still not caught up- funny how we can have a tendency to fall behind. But I'm getting there.

I have the children with me this weekend. Mich's son is sleeping over tonight, I've got a birthday party to take my children to tomorrow, and some friends are coming over on Sunday to take the children to Chuck E Cheeses. It should be an interesting and busy weekend. If I get a chance, I'd like to go and visit the friends who just had babies, since I didn't get a chance to do that yet either.

I'm getting tired again....Funny how aware I've become of what that means and the patterns my body presents to me. When I start to feel this way, it means I'm close to burning out...Again....So I'm thinking of planning some vacation time in the next few weeks....Maybe I'll go away with the children for a few days.

I came to a realization over the past few weeks. This one is a tough one to write, because it means being really candid...But here goes. I just realized...I've been in one relationship in my whole life. I met my ex when I was 14, and married him at 21. That's all I've ever known. He was abusive and controlling, which is not real love. That means I'm 34 and I've NEVER been loved by anyone, except family and friends, but that is different. It's a weird feeling. When I thought about this, it all of a sudden made me feel very sad, and lonely, and somewhat pathetic too.

I think I'm ready to move on and meet new people. Cautiously, but ready. It's been 2 years of crap, and I think it's time. Monday May 29 would have been my 13th anniversary. Since I'm still technically legally married, it's all weird. You know what they say about lucky number 13...

On a good note, I just got fantastic news from my ex today. He's decided to move out of my neighbourhood. He's going to move about a 15 minute car drive away, if all goes well. I've got my fingers crossed. Yippeeeeee....Thank you GOD! No more stalking...maybe this means he will leave me alone... New Beginnings indeed!