Role Models

"Every woman is the leader that she is looking for".
Maria Shriver on Oprah Winfrey Show.

Really powerful words from Maria Shriver. She said that she wants every woman feel that she was the leader she was looking for—that she had that within herself. It's very inspirational to hear, but how do you put it into practice? I would think this means something different to everyone. I would think you would need to define who you need to be and then live your life according to that definition. As inspiring as it is, it's not that easy to do. Emotions take over and we, especially as women, often end up saying or doing things that are not in line with who we want to be. I know I'm guilty of it. Guilty at work, with loved ones, with my children, with family, with friends.

I think that for myself, being the leader that I am looking for would mean a few things, some of which are learnings, some of which I already have:

1. Honesty- Telling the truth even when it is difficult to do- an office friend once told me that only a good friend would tell you when you've coloured your hair a hideous colour. She said it to me once upon a time ago when I dyed it jet black. As self conscious as I felt at the comment, I did appreciate the truth. I remember Oprah once said that she was at an event and Bill Cosby came to her and told her that she was wearing too much makeup and looked ridiculous. She talked about being hurt by the comment, but thankful for it. I personally am a truth teller when it is easy to do so. When it is tough, I bend the truth, avoid the topic, anything not to make someone feel bad or make myself look bad. But being the leader I am looking for would mean dealing with difficult situations as candidly as I can. It also means being honest with myself about what I really want out of life, and facing it with candeur, even when it is hard to do so.
2. Independence- Being the leader I am looking for would mean maintaining my independence. This means my friends, my financial independence, my financial freedom to make my own decisions, and yes a career.
3. Integrity- Integrity is a key- Honesty is definitely a key part of integrity but I mean a bit more here. I'm talking about intentions. About not deliberately hurting others, about being fair in your dealings with people. About the characteristics you hold dear. About knowing the difference between right and wrong doing. About living your life by these values.
   
4. Spirituality- When I say spirituality, I don't mean religion. It's not about prayer alone. It's about knowing that the world brings you what you put in, about the belief that everything happens for a reason, about the ability not to despair in desperate situations, about the ability to see the silver lining in just about everything, and the strength to know that even when you don't see the silver lining, you know it will be just around the corner. I'm not where I would like to be, but I'm better than I was 5 years ago. That's a start.
5. Personality- I think the personality is important. To me, a good leader is outgoing, bold, likable, not afraid to speak out, and fair in their spoken word. They come across confident, and they are comfortable with who they are.
   

What do you think are 5 key areas for a good female leader?