Learning Disorders, ADHD and Stuff

I was working with my son on his homework the other day. It was math, and was mentally taxing for him. He had to keep thinking and re-thinking all his answers. It was tough, and very frustrating to help him get his work done. He kept making excuses, kept saying that he didn't want to do the work. Then, finally, I sat him down and forced him to do it. I had to sit with him and stay on him. Every couple of minutes, he would get distracted and start looking around. But I stayed on him, and was determined to make sure that it got completed.

As we neared the end, and had just three questions left to go, I was faced with the start of a tantrum. "I can't do this anymore! I hate this! Do you hate me? Why do you make me do this work? It's so FRUSTRATING!"

This is where I started to get annoyed too. I mean, sitting here riding him to do his work isn't exactly a cup of tea. I was NOT enjoying this at all, and to top it off, I have to deal with this? You must be kidding me.

I told him that he had to finish his work. That I understand it isn't always fun, but it is important. He wants to be a car journalist, and car journalists need to finish school.

And then he tried to explain it to me. This is where my heart melted and totally went out to him. "Mommy, you don't understand. Somehow my brain feels full. Like it can't hold any more information. Like it's going to explode if I read even ONE MORE word. Like a computer that freezes when it can't work anymore because you made it open too many windows at once. I want to finish the work, but I just don't know how to make my brain do it".

And then it hit me. Sometimes I forget that we still have to do all these tests. That maybe, just maybe I am pushing him beyond his limits. The computer analogy really hit home, and I felt guilty that I had to make my 8 year old beg and plead for me to understand that just maybe, his brain may be wired differently than other children. I sometimes forget that this might be the case.

"Honey, why don't you go and play for 20 minutes? I understand completely. My brain gets full sometimes too. I can call you back to the kitchen table in 20 minutes".

"You won't be mad that I needed a break?"

"No baby. I understand. Honest".

I get it. I really do. I know that we don't know for sure if he has ADHD, but until we find out for sure, I'm going to trust him when he tells me he has reached his mental limit.