Spider Pig

Those of you who have seen the Simpson's Movie know what I'm talking about. My son is too young to watch the Simpsons, but he has seen the commercial for the movie since it just came out on DVD, and the commercial has been playing often enough. From that commercial, he caught a glimpse of Homer holding the pig upside down and letting it walk on the ceiling. My son found it amusing.

This morning, as I was getting dressed in my room, I heard from the kitchen below me "Spider pig, spider pig, friendly neighbourhood spider pig".

I smiled as I was putting on my makeup. He is such a crackup.

Then I heard him fall. Hard. Followed by a 5 second silence.

Now any mother knows that when a child falls and you don't hear a cry, it is BAD. It means they are unconscious, or totally knocked the wind out of themselves. So I ran down stairs. He was on the kitchen floor. I asked if he was OK. Then he started crying. I picked him up and checked his head for bumps.

As it turns out, my brilliant son was walking on the kitchen counter while pretending to hold a pig upside down and let it walk on the ceiling. Stupid Simpsons show.

Anyhow, I was glad to see that there weren't any bumps. Then I saw the blood. On his ear. The part of his ear that connects to his head, you know, the top of the ear, where your eyeglasses sit? Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. Now what?

Here is the deal:

• I knew he needed stitches
• I knew that the hospital would have a 9 hour wait (if you are lucky)
• I knew of a walk in clinic nearby, but didn't know if they would do stitches
• Guests would be arriving in Chuck E Cheeses for the birthday party within an hour.
  

Think fast baby, think fast!

I grabbed some gauze, cleaned the would, told my son to apply some pressure to it. We hopped into the car and went to the walk in clinic. They explained that yes he needed stitches, and that no, the regular stitches wouldn't work. Because this is not a fleshy part of the body, it would require extra fine stitches which are carried in emergency rooms only.

I explained my predicament to the doctor. We have a birthday party in an hour. Should I cancel it? He said no. Fortunately, he is also an emergency room doctor. In his expert opinion, liquid stitches should do the job just as well, and would get us out of there within 30 minutes, and he would still be able to attend his party. Saved. One caveat- if the liquid stitches were to open again somehow, I would have to go to the emergency room to get the other ones done. I agreed.

Anyhow, its over, thank God. Leave it to my son to add extra drama to the day.

Stupid Spider Pig. Stupid Simpson's Movie. Stupid boyish curiosity.

My son's answer to the day- "Well, I guess I won't be doing that again".

I should hope not young man. Sheesh. He sounds just like his mother sometimes.

The Drama of the Desi Community

Only in the desi community do people get offended if they don't get an invite to something. Seriously. This is precisely why we end up having like 800 people at our weddings.

Yes, I am having a tiny birthday party for my son at Chuck E Cheese's on Saturday. Here are the details:

• I didn't want to have a party at all, but since I had one at home for his sister, I couldn't avoid having one for him
• I tried to get his dad to throw the party, but his dad opted to throw the party "next year"
• Having a party at home was not an option for 8 year old boys
• I didn't want to incur the expense of a party. Correction- I couldn't afford the expense of a party
• My solution- 5 friends of his choice at Chuck E Cheese's. None of my friends. None of their kids, and NO family either. This would keep costs down
• So my son picked 6 friends. I said fine. Yes, it's quite possible that you are an awesome friend of mine, but not in the 6 that he chose. What can I do?
• If you have the nerve to be upset about not getting an invite, then that's up to you. At the end of the day, I think a good friend would understand that financially I cannot dish out $500 for a large birthday party at this time. I opted for the $100 party. Deal with it.

Sheesh. Only desi people would be so weird to get offended over a kid's birthday party. Now I know why I stay away from the community.

Sigh.

Build A Bear

My daughter has a Build-A-Bear that we got her when she was about a year old. Actually, it was a gift to her from a girlfriend in California at the time. My daughter loves the bear (actually, it's a bunny, and her name is Mimzy). Recently, she asked if I could take her to the Build-A-Bear Workshop, and I assumed that this meant that she wanted another bear. I waited until after Eid, so we could spend her Eid money at Build a Bear.

Today, we were at the mall buying stuff for loot bags for my son's upcoming birthday party. (I know- insane day to hit the mall). Anyhow, I decided to pop into the Build a Bear while we were there. My daughter was in awe. She loved the place. When she was done looking around, I asked her to pick a bear so we can proceed to build it. She looked shocked.

"No mommy! I didn't want a bear. I just wanted to see where Mimzy was born".

"Seriously? Ok- well I brought your Eid money. I thought you wanted to build another bear".

"No mommy- I can't! If I do that, Mimzy would be heartbroken and jealous. I don't want to break her heart. If I do that, it will break my heart!"

My gosh. My heart melted. How adorable.

Just as I was ready to leave, my son asked for a bear. I told him it was his decision, as we would be spending his Eid money. He was OK with it. My daughter wanted to pick up some clothes for Mimzy.

Thirty minutes later, we left the store with two happy children, and a new addition to our family. My son swears that he will sleep with Husky the dog every night, and my daughter is thrilled with the "Hello Kitty" pajamas she picked up for Mimzy, fully equipped with matching ribbons for Mimzy's ears.

Kids are absolutely adorable. My daughter's words were so cute and so genuine, that I don't think I will ever forget that precious moment.

Thank God for them. They keep me laughing. I can't imagine if there was anything that REALLY made my happy before they came into the picture.

It's interesting- I'm still in court, life is still stressful, I still have down times, but I have more
happy moments than I ever did before the divorce. Life is funny isn't it?

Merry Christmas Everybody!

I am having a lovely morning with the children. I woke up to two little smiling faces. They were in beautiful moods, and so loving with each other. They came down and watched Christmas movies on TV, and I made a nice big breakfast for them. I even let them watch TV and have breakfast on the coffee table in front of the TV (which I never do).

It's calm here at home today. I couldn't have asked for more. Given the amount of stress I've been having lately, a calm, "at home" morning is exactly what I needed.

Tonight, we will be going to my sister's place for dinner. I'm looking forward to the calm, family day.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Back From NYC

I found a last minute flight that left on Sat and came back this morning. Although the travel for the flight out of Pearson was totally nuts on Saturday (this is totally the craziest time of year to be traveling), the return was not so bad. And I am REALLY glad that I went. I really wanted to see Mr. NYC, and I needed to get out of here for a few days. Like I said, I'm totally glad that I went.

On a personal note, I am finding that the pressure has built up on many fronts:

1. Emotionally from the court case
2. Financially (big time) from the court case
3. Work has gotten very busy (hey- you can enjoy what you do but also be swamped, right?)
4. Lately, I have this intense desire to stay away from all my friends, with the exception of one... Not sure what's going on there, but I'm hoping it will pass. It's very messed up when an extrovert shuts the world out. It's probably not healthy for me in the long run...
5. I also really need to get my gym routine back. Although I haven't put on weight, I am definitely less toned than I was two months ago, and I need to get that toned feeling back again. I also need the happy high I get from working out. Actually, I need that more than I need air these days. Let's hope i hop back onto the routine before going back to work on the 7th.

So my goal for the next 2 weeks is to somehow pull myself out of this headspace.

Oh yes, and Happy Birthday to my son, who turns 8 today. We will be having cake today, and having his birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's on Saturday. Happy Birthday baby! :)

The Children Just Left

It's weird. They have been driving me nuts the past few days. But they left for their dad's two and a half hours ago and now I feel lonely and a bit down. I just can't win.

I picked up 3 movies to watch over the weekend. I know- pathetic. But this is going to be my "leave me alone" weekend. I'm actually trying to get last minute fares to NYC for the weekend, if that's possible. That would definitely break up the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed...

Boring Eid

I took today off for Eid. In fact, I am off until Jan 7th. This, however turned out to be one of the most boring, crappiest Eids ever. And to top it off, this was yet again, another divided Eid. Half the world celebrated yesterday, the other half celebrated today. When will we ever get our shit together?

I would rather have been at work. The highlight was visiting my sister, which was nice. Other than that, it didn't even feel like Eid. It felt like any other day of the week, except I gave up a vacation day. What a waste.

I had a bunch of plans for today and they fell through. So here I am. Feeling annoyed, tired, and feeling like this was a waste of a vacation day.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day. Over the holidays this year, I would like to go to the gym, and stay the hell away from people. I'm a little extroverted out. With the exception of one or two friends who I don't mind seeing, I think I would like to be a bit of a hermit.

Here's to telling most of the world to back off and give me some mental space...

Learning Disorders, ADHD and Stuff

I was working with my son on his homework the other day. It was math, and was mentally taxing for him. He had to keep thinking and re-thinking all his answers. It was tough, and very frustrating to help him get his work done. He kept making excuses, kept saying that he didn't want to do the work. Then, finally, I sat him down and forced him to do it. I had to sit with him and stay on him. Every couple of minutes, he would get distracted and start looking around. But I stayed on him, and was determined to make sure that it got completed.

As we neared the end, and had just three questions left to go, I was faced with the start of a tantrum. "I can't do this anymore! I hate this! Do you hate me? Why do you make me do this work? It's so FRUSTRATING!"

This is where I started to get annoyed too. I mean, sitting here riding him to do his work isn't exactly a cup of tea. I was NOT enjoying this at all, and to top it off, I have to deal with this? You must be kidding me.

I told him that he had to finish his work. That I understand it isn't always fun, but it is important. He wants to be a car journalist, and car journalists need to finish school.

And then he tried to explain it to me. This is where my heart melted and totally went out to him. "Mommy, you don't understand. Somehow my brain feels full. Like it can't hold any more information. Like it's going to explode if I read even ONE MORE word. Like a computer that freezes when it can't work anymore because you made it open too many windows at once. I want to finish the work, but I just don't know how to make my brain do it".

And then it hit me. Sometimes I forget that we still have to do all these tests. That maybe, just maybe I am pushing him beyond his limits. The computer analogy really hit home, and I felt guilty that I had to make my 8 year old beg and plead for me to understand that just maybe, his brain may be wired differently than other children. I sometimes forget that this might be the case.

"Honey, why don't you go and play for 20 minutes? I understand completely. My brain gets full sometimes too. I can call you back to the kitchen table in 20 minutes".

"You won't be mad that I needed a break?"

"No baby. I understand. Honest".

I get it. I really do. I know that we don't know for sure if he has ADHD, but until we find out for sure, I'm going to trust him when he tells me he has reached his mental limit.

So I'm Lame...

I worked from home today. But in my defense, traffic was bad, I had no meetings today, and I really didn't feel like driving for MORE than the 1.5 hours that I do each way every day. Three hours of a round trip commute is about all that I can handle on a daily basis, and the thought of it being longer due to bad weather was just unbearable.

On the plus side, I had a very productive day. I cleared my inbox down to 18 items. Not bad at all, if I do say so myself. I was even able to spare 20 minutes to go to my lawyers and drop off another check. Yes boys and girls. I got my year end bonus on Friday, and wrote a check for the ENTIRE amount to my lawyer. That hurt. Big time.

I decided to pick the kids up from school at 3pm. I've been working some Fridays lately, so I haven't been doing much of it. I figured that since I was working from home today, it was a good opportunity to surprise the children. They were so happy to see me. As we ate our after-school snack, they were such little chatterboxes, and they made me laugh. They had chicken noodle soup and hot chocolate to warm them up after school.

Just now, I gave them dinner. Butter chicken and naan that I made yesterday. My son is so accustomed to the butter chicken from Bombay Bhel that he was thrown off by this. His response:

"This isn't really butter chicken. But don't worry mommy. It's very good whatever it is".

Seriously? Whatever it is? It's butter chicken dammit. I followed the recipe to a tee. Just because he is used to it tasting a certain way, doesn't mean this is wrong. I used just the right amount of cream, and I thought it was awesome. And look at the little politician's response- he at least was kind enough to tell me it was good. I think he meant it too, because he ate all of it and asked for more. Hilarious. Even his dad never said anything like that about whatever I cooked. He would eat whatever I made and tell me it was great, even when I knew it didn't turn out quite right. I guess that was one good quality in a not so great guy ... I guess we all have at least SOME good things about us. That was his.

Anyhow, next my son started talking about Mr. NYC. Yes, he's met him. Three times. I introduced him as my friend. I have no idea what made him bring up the topic. But he asked when he will see him again. I told him I wasn't sure. He asked if he is married. I said no, but that he is divorced. My son was shocked. "Who would divorce HIM? He is such a nice man". UM- wow. That was unexpected. I asked him why he said that about him, I mean he doesn't even say that about me. His answer- because I am the one that divorced his dad. Hmmm. I asked how he knew it. He said his dad told him I did the divorce. I asked how he felt. My son then proceeded to ask why I left. "Did he yell at you and hit you too?". I didn't quite know how to respond. So I told him that these were adult matters and were not for children.

Then he went back to Mr. NYC. Does he have kids? How old are they? And then the question that I was afraid of. "Do you like him?". I responded by saying that "yes, he's a good friend". "But do you want to marry him?"

Where the heck does he get this stuff? I only responded by saying that these are adult matters and that right now, I am happy with things the way they are. If anything ever changes, I would let him know.

Maybe next time, I'll let the school bus pick him up from school :D

Snow Day

I love the snow. I love the way it looks when you look out the window and it makes those fluffy serene covers on everything that is outside. I love the brightness. But I don't like the cold. I also don't like it when there is so much that your car won't come out of the driveway. And I get stuck when the kid who comes to shovel doesn't show up the one time there is a lot of snow.

We spent the day at home today. The children and I were a little bored, because we aren't accustomed to spending an entire day in the house. But, they did their homework (grudgingly), and I decided to cook. I think the cooking was actually a good thing, because I haven't been cooking much lately. Life has been so busy that I have been resorting to quick meals, or take out.

Some baked chicken, beef kebabs, and butter chicken later, I am feeling pretty good today. If this keeps up I might even bake a cake with the children in the evening. If I have the energy.

Anyhow, I'm still wondering how I will get to work tomorrow. I can't shovel the snow because it would throw off my back for sure, and I can't find anyone to do it. Then again, it would be the lamest excuse in the world to work from home the day AFTER a snowstorm.

I miss my SUV. I used to plow through massive amounts of snow with that thing. The civic is NOT my thing. :(

A Day Without a Cellphone

Last Thursday, as I rushed out of the office to pick up the children, I forgot my blackberry on my desk. This may not seem like a big deal to the average Joe, but trust me when I say that I felt totally paralyzed for the next 16 hours.

I have had a cellphone since maybe 1992 or something. I've always had one on me. I don't think I've used a payphone since then. My calendar, my email, my contact list is all in that device. I am lost, stupid and unreachable without it.

So, driving home through the snow, I was horrified when I realized I didn't have it with me. I knew I had an appointment on my way home, roughly knew the time, but wasn't sure. What I was doing after that, I couldn't remember.

The snow slowed me down. I was running late. I didn't have a phone with which I could call to let them know. I didn't have the number either. Eventually I found a payphone (trust me, they are hard to come by), and of course, I don't carry money. I am the debit card freak. I use it for a pack of gum. So, I ruffled around for change and found a quarter. Only to realize payphones now cost fifty cents (when did that happen??). This one didn't take a credit card. I had to find some change to call my appointment, and luckily I knew the number by memory. I then found a loonie, called my mom and asked her to get the kids.

When I finally made it to my mom's place by 6:45, my daughter informed me that she had her winter concert that night, at 7pm, and that she had to wear a black dress. We rushed home, changed her, and got her to the concert. They rushed her onto stage just as the first song was starting. Thank God we made it.

When I got home, I had frantic voicemails from Mr. NYC who was freaking out because it is unheard of for me not to be accessible by cellphone, and he knew about the bad weather in Toronto. Naturally, he was afraid that I had an accident or something, because I didn't call him (I usually call him every day as I leave the office), and I wasn't picking up my phone or responding to his text messages.

The next day, I almost missed my conference call as I didn't have the number, and don't know my colleagues' numbers by memory. I was totally lost.

When I got to the office and found my phone, I was ready to kiss it. That is how happy I was to have it back.

Sad, but true.

Being a Winner

My son is a total politician. The other day, I was rushing in the morning to get ready. He woke up (early) and looked at me and asked if I wanted to race to see who could get dressed first. I told him that I already had my suit on. I only had to do my makeup. He responded that this left him "plenty of time". Nice.

I accepted his challenge.

When he was done getting dressed (and admittedly, I still wasn't ready), he got up to wash his face. Once he stood up, he said he was too tired and wanted to go back to bed. Now I knew better than anyone, that if he goes to bed without washing up, I will never get him out of the house. So, I offered to help him wash up. He accepted.

While washing his face, I told him with a chuckle that now that I helped him get ready, I would lose the race. He paused for a moment and then turned to me and said (with a totally straight face I might add):

"But mommy, when you help another person, you're a winner too".

Wow. Either that was deep (and I feel proud to have raised this little boy), or he will make one awesome politician.

I have NO IDEA where he got that from.

Back from NYC

I spent the weekend in NYC. It was nice. This time we actually didn't even end up going to Manhattan. We kind of hung out in the burbs, which was fine. I helped Mr NYC do his Xmas shopping which was fun (any shopping is fun for me, even if it's not for myself). I offered to do this. He groaned at the thought of spending a whole day shopping, but like I said, I had fun. I even wrapped all the presents for him when we were done (man I love Christmas) :)

When I got home from NY, I got the joy of:

• My ex returning the children half an hour late (he is such a pain)
  
• There being no homework done with the children (so now they will go to school tomorrow looking totally incompetent)

My ex is an ass. He has no integrity and no sense around how to obey the law. Seriously, he should be living in a mental ward, away from the rest of the world. He can't even follow simple instructions or fulfill his basic parental responsibilities. And this from a man who wants sole custody. The world is truly a crazy place.

Keep Your Comments to Yourself Please...

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

I love this quote. It's so true. Ever go through a phase when you feel like those around you are just judging you? Here are some of the things I recently heard through friends...

• You're doing the best you can to raise the children. Sure, they are going to turn out messed up as a result of the divorce, but at least you can have an impact on how messed up they are (Thanks jerk! The weird thing is, this was meant to somehow be a compliment!)
• "You're a great person when you're not moody" (Um- isn't everyone?)
  
• Why would somebody as smart as you be stupid enough to marry that guy anyways? I think that was SUCH a bad life choice that it almost makes you look like a stupid person (I know you hate him, but easy on the insults buddy!)
• Don't worry- we'll have you dressing really cool soon (what the heck is wrong with the way I dress anyways? And this from someone whose taste in clothes I can't even stand! UGH!)

Maybe I'm in a mood these days. On my reading list at the moment is "Why men love bitches". I highly recommend the book to any girl who is over accommodating to the people in her life, but never appreciated for any of it.

I'm a funny mix. I can be a bee-otch at work in meetings, putting my foot down on projects etc, but I am the total opposite in my personal life. I think I over compensate at work. My goal for this upcoming year (2008) will be to bring those two to a balance. Let's see how I do.

Anyhow, yesterday was interesting. I ran into two colleagues that I haven't seen for awhile. They said that I looked really happy and that I looked great. The compliment made me happy. Then they said "You must be dating ". That made me not so happy...

If I look happy does it HAVE to be because of a guy? Sheesh!

Trusting Your Kids to Strangers

Would you EVER let a complete stranger drive away with your child?

I was driving the children to school the other day, and right at the intersection on a side street there was a huge accident. The whole front end of one car was smashed off and the other card drove through a pole into a fence. The car in front of me was a witness who had seen the entire accident and had stopped. I pulled over and asked if they needed a phone. They said yes. I called 911 and requested police and an ambulance. The witness lady said that she had to stay at the scene because she witnessed the whole thing, but that she had a young child to take to school and didn't know what to do. As it turned out, her child went to the same school as my child. I offered to drop off her child, and she accepted. Her daughter (after getting in my car) said she recognized my son. I offered my name, ID and cell number, just so she would be comfortable that I wasn't some crazy, and so she could check to make sure her daughter got there safe, but she declined, since her daughter recognized my son.

I was surprised that she trusted me. If it were me, I would NEVER let some stranger take my children. I would rather let them miss school, or be late for school. I'm flattered that she trusted me, as I suppose that means I don't look like an axe murderer, but STILL.

After dropping the children off, I went back to the scene of the accident, just to let her know that I watched all 3 kids go into the school, and that they were fine.

And then I realized....would you TAKE the responsibility of some stranger's child? I mean, what if something happened to that child, could she have come back to me?

What a scary world we live in, you can't trust anyone these days. Not only should you be cautious with your own children, but I guess you also have to be cautious with other people's children!

The Fishie is in Heaven

I actually was caught in meetings/conference calls on Friday and didn't get a chance to get a new fish. And then I forgot. Yes, I forgot. I'm human. These things happen.

So later on, when my kids came home, they saw the empty fish tank and asked where the fish was. I couldn't lie this time. So I told them the truth. My son held back his tears, but I told him that the fish was in Heaven, and that it was probably swimming in a big huge ocean with lots of other happy fishies. I think he felt better. I also told him that whenever he is ready, we can buy a new fish.

Then he asked what I did with it, like how did I dispose of it? I told him the truth- and I felt mighty cold saying it...but I flushed it down the toilet. He didn't say much. I think it helped that I had a good friend over and we were all on our way out the door when this happened. He was busy and distracted.

As we walked out the door I heard my daughter say "How does the fishie get to heaven through the toilet?"

I didn't answer. I acted like I didn't hear it. I mean, what reply could I give to that?