Home with the Kids

The kids didn't want to go to school today.  Can't say that I blame them.  My solution, let's take a "fun day" to get our minds off things.

So I took the children to their therapist on Wed.  Got an appt in the middle of the day, so I had to take the kids out of school (it hasn't been the best week for school, their concentration is shot).  I love their therapist.  She is so awesome with children it's unreal.

The solution she gave them was a tough one though.  She told them that they had to learn to stand up for themselves, that this is a skill they will need throughout life.  That they cannot let themselves be pushed around.  She said they needed to feel empowered, and asked what their ideal solution would be.  The children said they wanted some space from dad for a little while, and then they could start seeing him again when they feel safe.  So she showed them how to get what they want and feel empowered by the process.

Her solution was that they should call their father and tell him how they feel.  My son was very brave and strong and handled the situation very well.  He said "Dad, I love you, but lately you've been really scary.  You've been threatening us, and it's not OK, and we don't feel safe at your home.  So we want to take some time to feel less stressed and scared and when we are ready we will see you again.  We don't want you to be angry and move away from us, but if that's what you decide to do, it's your choice".

And then he hung up the phone and cried.  My heart bled for him.  They say whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger.  I'm sure this experience will make him stronger one day, but it killed me to watch.

Dad's response when he called back:  "Your mother is manipulating you, and I intend to pick you up on Friday.  We will talk in person".

I thought I was going to throw up.  I can only imagine how my son felt.  This was not part of his preparation by the doctor.

His response was calm and bang on.   "I'm sorry dad.  I don't think you're listening.  We don't want to spend time with you on Friday and we won't be coming.  I don't want to argue with you about this".

Poor kid.  Honestly, I was so stressed watching this unfold.

Now the new problem.  What if he shows up with the police?  So yesterday I went to the police station.  Turns out that given the circumstances, he won't be able to force me to hand the children over.  I am, after all, the custodial parent (thank GOD), and I do have the rights to act in the children's best interests.  (Thank GOD again).

In the meantime, the therapist has called the CAS...and they will be coming out next week to speak to the children.  In the grand scheme of things, this is probably a good thing, since it will help by giving the children the support and safety that they need.

Poor kids :(  They slept with me in my bed the last 2 nights.  My daughter cries in her sleep and my son shouts out in his sleep and wakes up in a fright.  I know that feeling.  I had those nightmares for years after the divorce.  I had hoped my children would never go through this.  Some days, it feels like no matter what I do, it can never be enough to protect them from this mess.  And some days I feel like I created the mess by marrying the monster.

Sigh.