Today is my baby's 7th Birthday. She woke up early for what was probably the first time in her life. She ran to my room, jumped on my bed screaming "It's my birthday. Everybody has to be nice to me!!"
What? Like we are normally mean or something?
But it was cute. She got dressed up in her Tinker Bell outfit and I took her to school. She got out of the car and skipped into the school. I told the teacher at the kiss n ride that it was her 7th birthday. This was not her teacher, some other teacher who barely knows my daughter. Her reply, "Honey, I think the whole school already knows that. She made it a point to tell everyone yesterday. She said 'tomorrow is my birthday so don't forget to say happy birthday to me'".
Wow. I wonder if I was like that when I was little?
Still, I did leave the school with a smile. She's hilarious. I love her. I'm so glad to have her in my life.
Happy Birthday Mary!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My Little Tinker Bell
My baby wants to dress as Tinker Bell for Halloween. I searched everywhere and stores were sold out of her size. So I convinced her to be something else. OK that's a half lie. I didn't like that the outfits were so short and that she would freeze in it. So I convinced her to be Batgirl.
Today, I decided to go and get her outfit while she was visiting with her dad. Small problem, Batgirl outfits were sold out. So were Tinker Bell, and pretty much every Disney Princess imaginable to mankind.
I went to 5 stores. I finally, at Toys R Us, found slim pickings and decided to get her some random fairy costume. Not Tinker Bell, but it will have to do.
I was at the checkout. And I looked at the costume and saw that it had a tear. So I went back to the slim pickings rack and LO and BEHOLD...there was one random TINKER BELL outfit. One problem, No wings. I searched through the store and they finally agreed to take the wings off of a Tinker bell dress up line (different from the Halloween line).
I go to the register and to top it off, the outfit was on sale. For 12 bucks. Rockin Awesome.
I come home and my daughter is overjoyed. "Mommy you remembered my favourite. I love you!". She put the outfit on, it fit perfectly and she jumped up and down on my sofa in her fairy wings, singing all the while. It was pure heaven.
I would do it all again. Nevermind that it took me 2.5 hours and 5 stores. It was well worth it.
And she looks cuter than....well, cuter than Tinkerbell herself!
Today, I decided to go and get her outfit while she was visiting with her dad. Small problem, Batgirl outfits were sold out. So were Tinker Bell, and pretty much every Disney Princess imaginable to mankind.
I went to 5 stores. I finally, at Toys R Us, found slim pickings and decided to get her some random fairy costume. Not Tinker Bell, but it will have to do.
I was at the checkout. And I looked at the costume and saw that it had a tear. So I went back to the slim pickings rack and LO and BEHOLD...there was one random TINKER BELL outfit. One problem, No wings. I searched through the store and they finally agreed to take the wings off of a Tinker bell dress up line (different from the Halloween line).
I go to the register and to top it off, the outfit was on sale. For 12 bucks. Rockin Awesome.
I come home and my daughter is overjoyed. "Mommy you remembered my favourite. I love you!". She put the outfit on, it fit perfectly and she jumped up and down on my sofa in her fairy wings, singing all the while. It was pure heaven.
I would do it all again. Nevermind that it took me 2.5 hours and 5 stores. It was well worth it.
And she looks cuter than....well, cuter than Tinkerbell herself!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Moving out at 18
My children spent this weekend with their father. As I was putting my son to bed tonight, he asked me if he can move out when he is 18. I find this concerning, given he is just shy of being 9 years old. I asked him what the benefit would be of moving out.
It turns out that his rationale for moving out is that he would have the choice around which parent to spend time with on any given day, around balancing time between his mom and dad, as well as the luxury of "my house, my rules". He can play video games all day and eat nesquik all day. The latter around "my house, my rules" I understand. I'm sure he hates my Nintendo DS rules which are 30 minutes max per day, not before 5pm or after 8pm, and only if your homework is done. The former reason around being with both parents, I find a bit concerning.
You see, it just shows how very aware he is of the constant struggle between his father and I. He said if he had his own house, we could come and see him when we wanted to, and he wouldn't have to go back and forth between two homes. Interestingly enough, when we went through the assessment earlier this year, the assessor had told me about this. He said that the disruption of two homes has a bigger impact on children than we will ever know. Adults can handle it because we walk around with our high level calendars in our heads. But children of divorced homes don't know if they are coming or going.
I just find all of this very sad.
I don't want my son to feel the loss with his dad. His father has been on better behavior lately (we know these periods are always short lived though). When their dad is behaving better, the kids wish to see him more. It's understandable. However, I'm not sure where the balance is. For now, I feel the need to protect the kids from their dad. I don't want him to hurt them again. On the other hand, I need to allow them to feel comfortable enough to know that their relationship is not being stifled, especially not by me. It's all such a delicate balance...
I had always hoped that the children would live with me until they finished University. A good friend recently told me that it is better that they get their space and move out when they start University at 19. Let them grow and mature and live in residence, he says.
It's all a lot to think about. For now, I'll take happiness in the fact that I have a good 10 years before having to face this discussion for real. In the meantime, today my answer to him was that of course he can move out. As long as he can afford to live on his own income. Then he asked if I would get him a job at my company. No joke. I said yes. He thought for a minute and then said "Well, let's see. Maybe I'll just live in your basement".
And there is yet another topic for discussion....the new generation of freeloading children :D
It turns out that his rationale for moving out is that he would have the choice around which parent to spend time with on any given day, around balancing time between his mom and dad, as well as the luxury of "my house, my rules". He can play video games all day and eat nesquik all day. The latter around "my house, my rules" I understand. I'm sure he hates my Nintendo DS rules which are 30 minutes max per day, not before 5pm or after 8pm, and only if your homework is done. The former reason around being with both parents, I find a bit concerning.
You see, it just shows how very aware he is of the constant struggle between his father and I. He said if he had his own house, we could come and see him when we wanted to, and he wouldn't have to go back and forth between two homes. Interestingly enough, when we went through the assessment earlier this year, the assessor had told me about this. He said that the disruption of two homes has a bigger impact on children than we will ever know. Adults can handle it because we walk around with our high level calendars in our heads. But children of divorced homes don't know if they are coming or going.
I just find all of this very sad.
I don't want my son to feel the loss with his dad. His father has been on better behavior lately (we know these periods are always short lived though). When their dad is behaving better, the kids wish to see him more. It's understandable. However, I'm not sure where the balance is. For now, I feel the need to protect the kids from their dad. I don't want him to hurt them again. On the other hand, I need to allow them to feel comfortable enough to know that their relationship is not being stifled, especially not by me. It's all such a delicate balance...
I had always hoped that the children would live with me until they finished University. A good friend recently told me that it is better that they get their space and move out when they start University at 19. Let them grow and mature and live in residence, he says.
It's all a lot to think about. For now, I'll take happiness in the fact that I have a good 10 years before having to face this discussion for real. In the meantime, today my answer to him was that of course he can move out. As long as he can afford to live on his own income. Then he asked if I would get him a job at my company. No joke. I said yes. He thought for a minute and then said "Well, let's see. Maybe I'll just live in your basement".
And there is yet another topic for discussion....the new generation of freeloading children :D
Thursday, October 23, 2008
How Do You End a Rut?
How do we get out of the Ratrace? Seriously? Do you ever feel like life has gotten so monotonous that you don't know when it will ease up? I'm going through that these days.
I keep thinking that things will get easier as the children get older. And then I remember what Mr. NYC says to me. Bigger kids, bigger problems. Well when does it get easier?
I get up at 5:30 am every day. I get showered and changed, I pack lunches, I dress the children, give them breakfast, and get them to school by 8:30. I get to work at 9:45 or 10am depending on traffic. I work hard, I leave at 4:45. I get to the daycare at 6:30. I get the kids home, give them dinner, do homework, put them to bed, and then I work on office stuff on my computer until midnight. And then I get up at 5:30 again.
I'm getting tired. I just want to sleep. I need to be left alone.
And then when I get a weekend without the kids I have a million chores to do.
I'm seriously going to take a weekend and turn off the blackberry and sit home and veg. No people, no conversations.
But back to my point, when does it end? What do we have to really look forward to? What is the next step?
Marriage? Well that comes with its own complications. And really, I don't know if I really want to base my future dreams around a man. I did that once. It didn't work. No more putting eggs in one basket.
So what is the next step in life? There is a big gap of time before the kids move out on their own. So I'm mommy for a long time. I'm also the provider, the cook, the cleaner.
What else am I? An employee. One who is undervalued at times.
What else am I? Where am I going? This is all really scary for me. I mean, what is the next goal in life as a single mom? Not finding a man is it? Not getting married, please don't tell me that....so what is the point of all this?
I keep thinking that things will get easier as the children get older. And then I remember what Mr. NYC says to me. Bigger kids, bigger problems. Well when does it get easier?
I get up at 5:30 am every day. I get showered and changed, I pack lunches, I dress the children, give them breakfast, and get them to school by 8:30. I get to work at 9:45 or 10am depending on traffic. I work hard, I leave at 4:45. I get to the daycare at 6:30. I get the kids home, give them dinner, do homework, put them to bed, and then I work on office stuff on my computer until midnight. And then I get up at 5:30 again.
I'm getting tired. I just want to sleep. I need to be left alone.
And then when I get a weekend without the kids I have a million chores to do.
I'm seriously going to take a weekend and turn off the blackberry and sit home and veg. No people, no conversations.
But back to my point, when does it end? What do we have to really look forward to? What is the next step?
Marriage? Well that comes with its own complications. And really, I don't know if I really want to base my future dreams around a man. I did that once. It didn't work. No more putting eggs in one basket.
So what is the next step in life? There is a big gap of time before the kids move out on their own. So I'm mommy for a long time. I'm also the provider, the cook, the cleaner.
What else am I? An employee. One who is undervalued at times.
What else am I? Where am I going? This is all really scary for me. I mean, what is the next goal in life as a single mom? Not finding a man is it? Not getting married, please don't tell me that....so what is the point of all this?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
My mother loves her blackberry
Well this is sad. Talk about having guilt as a single mom. We were at my parent's home tonight. My sister called me and I wasn't listening. She called again. I didn't answer. Then she says to my daughter "I think your mommy is ignoring me"
My daughter's response "She's probably on her blackberry. That's all she ever does. And then she ignores everyone".
How sad. How sad that I've become this. How sad that my daughter knows it. How sad that I am fighting so hard to balance work and life as a single mom, and that just as I think I'm almost there, I get this.
Just when we think we have reached some sort of a destination, we realize we have barely started the journey. Sigh.
Now, I need to find a way to park the blackberry when I'm around the kids.
My daughter's response "She's probably on her blackberry. That's all she ever does. And then she ignores everyone".
How sad. How sad that I've become this. How sad that my daughter knows it. How sad that I am fighting so hard to balance work and life as a single mom, and that just as I think I'm almost there, I get this.
Just when we think we have reached some sort of a destination, we realize we have barely started the journey. Sigh.
Now, I need to find a way to park the blackberry when I'm around the kids.
Sorting out Life
I've had another rough patch. One of those "I don't want to be around anyone" periods in my life. I have one friend that I have been leaning on, but other than that, the world has been shut out lately. Just going through a funk I guess.
It doesn't help that this weekend was insanely busy. I had appts for the kids, a birthday party for the kids to attend and then some. No time to breathe. I even had to cancel my gym workout :( BOO.
I need this court stuff to close now. I need it to be over. With our pre-trial date in Jan, this looks quite a ways off.
Have you ever had a time when you needed to get away? I'm going through that now....
It doesn't help that this weekend was insanely busy. I had appts for the kids, a birthday party for the kids to attend and then some. No time to breathe. I even had to cancel my gym workout :( BOO.
I need this court stuff to close now. I need it to be over. With our pre-trial date in Jan, this looks quite a ways off.
Have you ever had a time when you needed to get away? I'm going through that now....
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Looking Out the Window
Another "awww" moment, compliments of my daughter....
"Mommy- when I'm at daddy's home, do you look out the window?"
"Sure I do honey. Why?"
"Because when I'm there, I look out the window and whisper every night to you. I say 'Goodnight mommy. I love you and miss you'".
I could feel my eyes welling up....
"Baby, I think I hear you. And I say that I love you too".
"I'm glad we love each other mommy"
"So am I honey. So am I"....
Everybody say "awww"....
"Mommy- when I'm at daddy's home, do you look out the window?"
"Sure I do honey. Why?"
"Because when I'm there, I look out the window and whisper every night to you. I say 'Goodnight mommy. I love you and miss you'".
I could feel my eyes welling up....
"Baby, I think I hear you. And I say that I love you too".
"I'm glad we love each other mommy"
"So am I honey. So am I"....
Everybody say "awww"....
Monday, October 13, 2008
Today my ex did yet another irresponsible thing. I know, I shouldn't be surprised right? But seriously, I am royally ticked. He setup a facebook account for my 8 year old boy. I got an invite from my son to add him as a friend. Now where do I start with WHY I am so ticked?
I love my little boy. Thank God these are the days where they still respect their mothers.
I will be shutting down that account and sending an email to his father.
What a royal idiot.
- It is highly inappropriate for an 8 yr old to have a facebook account.
- It is even against the facebook privacy policy to have an account under the age of 13.
- My ex told my son to enter the wrong date of birth to open an account. He basically taught my son that it is OK to lie online to get what you want.
- He setup my son's profile as "single" and "interested in men". WTF??
- He added a picture of my son to the profile!
- He never even spoke to me about it first. Hello? Social networking site for an 8 year old?!
I love my little boy. Thank God these are the days where they still respect their mothers.
I will be shutting down that account and sending an email to his father.
What a royal idiot.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
There are Always two Sides to Each Story
Have you ever misjudged someone? I mean REALLY misjudged someone? Like have one of those purely I-know-this-is-so-black-and-white moments, only to find out you were wrong?
I had one of those today. I judged someone so harshly, and was so unforgiving, only to find out that I was the one who was wrong. I, without meaning to, made a mistake and then judged someone for the outcome. In turn, this person, knowing they had been treated harshly, still let it go. All they said is "Don't worry, you didn't know. I'm sure if you knew the truth you wouldn't have reacted that way".
I have so much to learn. Thankfully, I have amazing teachers to learn from.
Sometimes what you see is not the whole picture. Things are not always as they seem.
I had one of those today. I judged someone so harshly, and was so unforgiving, only to find out that I was the one who was wrong. I, without meaning to, made a mistake and then judged someone for the outcome. In turn, this person, knowing they had been treated harshly, still let it go. All they said is "Don't worry, you didn't know. I'm sure if you knew the truth you wouldn't have reacted that way".
I have so much to learn. Thankfully, I have amazing teachers to learn from.
Sometimes what you see is not the whole picture. Things are not always as they seem.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Eid Comes and Goes
The past two weeks went by really fast. My mom came home from the hospital just in time for Eid. I was glad to have her home. Eid was insanely busy. I visited many families etc. Basically, I attended 5 events on Eid, which was a weekday and I had to go to work the next day! Seriously, I need to start taking the day AFTER Eid off from now on.
Other than that, things are normal. I am finding myself insanely tired lately. And the recent assessment report results seem to have pushed my ex into another manic episode. I'm trying to keep him away from me but his angry emails are starting to be a bit much for me.
Fortunately, I have friends around that are always a wonderful support. Right now, I'm just trying to get through the next while. My ex has completely stopped paying all child support, so it's running a bit tight. I'm sure this is his way of torturing me for having things go my way. The way I see it, if I can survive this, I will be able to survive just about anything.
Here's to strength and independence. To hell with creepy ex husbands.
Other than that, things are normal. I am finding myself insanely tired lately. And the recent assessment report results seem to have pushed my ex into another manic episode. I'm trying to keep him away from me but his angry emails are starting to be a bit much for me.
Fortunately, I have friends around that are always a wonderful support. Right now, I'm just trying to get through the next while. My ex has completely stopped paying all child support, so it's running a bit tight. I'm sure this is his way of torturing me for having things go my way. The way I see it, if I can survive this, I will be able to survive just about anything.
Here's to strength and independence. To hell with creepy ex husbands.
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