Another 2 Days with Mr. NYC

I spent another 2 days with him this week. He came down to see me and I took a couple of days off. The kids got to see him yesterday evening and they were thrilled. A bit calmer than last time thank God. (Last time, 2 weeks ago, my daughter went running up to him, jumped in his lap and asked him "Can you please be my stepfather?"). Talk about embarrassing moments. I was flustered, he was flustered, but thankfully he was a quick thinker. "You would be an awesome stepdaughter for anyone". Good answer. Nice and safe. Phew.

Anyhow, we spent most of our time catching up, so it was nice. I never get to take a break so that was nice too.

Today, I got a call from the CAS. Apparently, they want to move my ex to unsupervised visits. I was ticked. I mean, it was just a week ago that the worker told me they would monitor him in a semi-supervised environment for another month. Then she calls me today and tells me her supervisor wants her to move to 2 hours unsupervised community visits, meaning he can take them out to a public place. I am terrified.

I argued with her, told her that she needed to protect my children better. Her response was that he would eventually get to see them unsupervised again, so we need to test the waters now. Supervised visits is only ever a temporary solution, to protect the children during an interim period (like waiting for a court date). The supervised access has been going well and the reports are all positive. (Well, DUH. That's the point. That's why he is supervised!) Anyhow, she felt it was time to move him to unsupervised for 2 hours. I argued and I lost. I was pissed. Her answer to me is that if he is really a threat and he fails at this, they will move him back to supervised access. I am still doubtful.

I spoke to Mr. NYC when I got off the phone (I'm glad he was here in person), and naturally, me being myself, I was all angry and hyper. Naturally, he being himself, he was calm, patient, and he calmed me down. He reminded me that this is the children's biological father, and by law, he would have a right to his children, and I can't stop that. The real question is how much access will he have, and what type of access will it be? That is what I will find out in court. He reminded me that I need to let this go down it's path and understand that the CAS can't protect them forever. This is my job, and I go to court in July. And 2 hrs in a public place is not the end of the world. He had that before. He never hurt them in public, so they are still hopefully going to be safe.

Maybe Mr. NYC is right. And if he is wrong, I will be here to protect my children. My ex is not capable of change, so it is just a matter of time before he shows the world (again) what he really is. This time, maybe the courts will listen.

This is so bloody stressful.