A Small Relief

The assessor gave me a small hint of hope yesterday. He said that he has been reading the reports from our marriage counsellors, from doctors, etc. who have written in at his request. I asked what they said, he said he wouldn't tell me just yet. I asked if there was anything he could share. Then he told me that there was one consistent theme- that all the past medical records are showing that my ex admitted to being abusive physically towards me. He said he found it interesting, because up until now, he has been denying the abuse, but now there is more than one source with the same story.

I cannot tell you how relieved I felt.

I came home last night feeling like someone had set me free. Like after all these years of him denying what he did to me, he won't be able to deny it anymore. It's like instant therapy. It's like, validation I guess. Like I can tell the world "See, I'm not crazy. This really happened."

Up until now, I felt like I was the only one who knew it happened. Like the rest of the world was wondering if I was telling the truth or making it up. Now I feel like he can't lie. He will have to face up to what he is, what he has been all along.

Almost like judgement day.

I feel like I could cry from the relief.