Plugging Away

The assessment continues. Work continues. My ex's supervised visitations continue. For the past two weeks I have been just plugging along. The assessor is on vacation, so there is a pause in our timeline. Quite frankly, I don't mind the pause. Life has been so busy that I can afford to spare a few hours a week.

Interestingly enough, although life is very stressful right now (peak of a court case and assessment etc), I am feeling calm and content. I just realized the other day that I am happier at this point, at this moment in my life than I have ever been before. EVER. Wow. That speaks volumes.

I've also realized that for the first time in my life, I'm feeling comfortable with whatever will come my way. Of course, this could change in a few months' time, but for the time being, I feel like whatever the outcome of the court case, I will be OK.

Here is what I have realized. When I look back at all the large, catastrophic things that have happened in my life, I see that they have always resulted in something better. Always. Even if it feels unbearable while I go through it, I find that things have always worked out for the best.

The two most catastrophic things that I can think of were my hospitalization in 2004 and my divorce. But at the end of the day, it was the hospitalization that made me decide to file for divorce (I was told by the neurologist that I didn't have MS as they originally thought, but rather, that I had a stress attack bad enough to shut my body down completely). The divorce was difficult, but I am now happier than ever. The divorce, while difficult to go through, was better for me in the grande scheme of things.

Whatever the outcome of this court case, I know that I will be fine, as nothing can be worse than what I have already experienced. It can only get better from here. And even if something seems impossible or too difficult, I am confident that in the end, it will all work out for the best.

It always does. Thank God.