Court Appearance #2- Four Hours Later...

You heard correctly. The judge had given us an emergency date for today, allowing us time from 2-3:30 in her courtroom. We went from 2-5:30, an hour and a half past when the courtroom closes, and we had to wait another 30 minutes for her endorsement. I honestly should have been a lawyer.

I am a bit shell shocked. His lawyer was pretty harsh. He started off painting me as an erratic nut, and made his client look like father of the year. No word of a lie. You know those animated lawyers who point fingers at the opposing parties as they shout across the courtroom? Yep, that was his lawyer. My lawyer is right. Personalities between lawyers and clients always seem to match up. Thankfully, my lawyer was pretty darn good in the courtroom. She comes across firm, but very polite, but she knows her stuff.

Anyhow, it overall went well. I don't think I could have asked for much more (except a police enforceable order, which I didn't get). Basically, she (the judge) said that our file was so large that she needed a few more weeks to read through and send an interim endorsement. That should be ready by early November. Not sure what else she needs to add to it, or what this means, but I have no choice. We go back to court on November 27th. Here is what was granted, as well as what will happen between now and November 27th:

• Despite my ex's pleas for more time with the kids, his request was denied
• She refused to grant either of us sole custody this early in the game, but said that she did agree in the passing that this would likely be a sole custodial situation when we are done (thank GOD)
• She recommended that we start an assessment from an individual assessor no later than Nov 1. An assessment takes 6 months to complete and basically looks at the mental stability of both parents, their parenting skills, and responsibility, as well as other factors- conflict between parents etc, and makes a recommendation to the courts around custody and access. This will cost us about $15k total, $7.5k each
• In the meantime, until we go back to court in November, she has agreed that my ex's visitation with the children shall be loosely supervised if the visit spans longer than 4 hours. (Loosely means the supervisor has to be in the same home as my ex, but not necessarily in the same room at the same time). I guess her rationale for that is that it is unlikely that he will go ballistic on the kids in a less than 4 hr visit? Either way, there is only ONE visit that is less than 4 hrs and that is on Halloween, my daughter's bday where we have to share the time with her. Other than that, they are overnights every other weekend.
• I have been granted permission to decide on who can supervise, and I have been given rights to a telephone number, which I can call during his visitation to check on the kids and make sure that they are OK. This is a big deal, because previously, he would take off with the kids and not pick up my calls. Now the supervisor is obliged to take my calls and failure to do so means I can decline them as a supervisor.
• I have been granted the right to travel with the children outside the country, without his permission, provided I have told him where I am going (an FYI) as well as given him a number where we can be reached. This is a big deal, as he had requested that I not leave within 75km of my home with the kids.
• I have been granted the right to keep the kids in therapy, and he has to pay 50% of these sessions

The only downside is that:

• She did not make the order police enforceable. Her rationale was that we are returning to court on Nov 27th and that given the court ordered supervised visits, he shouldn't be acting up or it will work against him on the 27th. She further didn't like the police intervention as it can be abused
• She still wants 4 weeks to decide what our interim order will be while we go through the assessment. This bothers me a bit...what is she going to do? Can she change her decision around supervision in these 4 weeks? Can she add more access into the mix? I hate the uncertainty.

Either way, aside from his lawyer painting me out to be a Monster, the verdict was positive...for the time being.

And now I can breathe a sigh of relief. At least, for 4 weeks...But man, I am SO mentally and physically exhausted from today. I need a spa day or something.