Still Feeling Crappy

I still can't shake this crappy feeling. I'm trying to keep busy but it's not working. This thing with my boss seems to have thrown off my entire life. I mean, I knew that the day would come where we wouldn't work together anymore, but I just always assumed that it would be whenever I reached a point where I was really to move to a new role, and that we would move in different directions on pseudo happy terms. I never thought he would just be thrown out of the picture like this, without explanation. I don't like it one bit. I need to make sure that everything is OK for him. I owe him big time for everything he's done for me. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be where I am professionally, or personally. What an awesome mentor he was.

I feel crappy and a bit useless. I have to go to the office and act like it's business as usual and it's not. How can I look at my team and act like everything is OK when it is so screwed up beyond description? It's insane. I'm supposed to act like this is just part of life. It's not. It shouldn't be. I'm so ticked off. And yes, now I'm officially bitter. Very bitter. The people around me act like I'm being a bit too dramatic, that this happens all the time, and that after all my corporate experience, this shouldn't hit me so hard. Well it does. I guess I'm not as tough as everyone thought I was. Something in me broke this week. Something that kept me going. I had faith that good people would always be protected. I thought wrong.

I've just realized how brutal the corporate world really is. I'm wondering what made me think I actually enjoyed it? The corporate world is nothing less than a shark pit. Right now, I feel like a goldfish swimming with a bunch of sharks. They should just eat me and get it overwith.