Happy Freedom Anniversary

It was nine years ago today that I left my now ex husband.  I would love to be able to say that it was nine years ago that I made the decision to leave him, but I know full well the decision was made a few months prior, and the date of my leaving was more the result of an impulse, a last straw so to speak, than an actual decision.  It was me reaching my breaking point, realizing my son had almost been chocked to death, followed by a frenzy of stuffing hanger-clad clothing articles into suitcases, dumping drawers of toiletries into shopping bags and just taking off. 

And so the journey began.  And what a long road it's been.   And nine years later, I can honestly say that I understand why the journey was such a long one.  God is the master planner, and he had a list of things for me to learn.  And I'm still learning. And so the journey continues.  

It's rather fitting that today I had lunch with two girlfriends that were strong support systems for me.  And as I drove to lunch, I passed the hospital where I had been admitted just months prior to my leaving him.  The same hospital where I made the initial decision to leave. All this after being given a clean bill of health  after an MS scare.  And a conversation with a doctor who wanted to know what had me so stressed out that my body would shut down and go into paralysis mode.  

A long journey indeed.  

I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, and mentioned that June 9th was coming up.  I did not realize that my daughter was in the next room listening.  Small ears, but they hear and understand everything.  

Today, she came to me, gave me a big hug and said "Happy Freedom Anniversary Mom".  I was stunned, and ashamed.  I apologized to her.  She should never have heard my conversation.  Her reply- "Mom.  You saved all of us when you left him.  That's our freedom day too.  We love him, but he's hard to love, and I'm so glad you left him.  You saved us.  You're my hero".  

I was stunned. I wasn't sure if I should thank her or continue apologizing.  So I thanked her. 

She continued to tell me that because of me, she knows what not to tolerate in life.  No bullies, no threats, no pushy men.  She said there are a lot of good men out there.  Please mom, when the time is right, find a good one and be happy.  

I had tears in my eyes.  I love her.  And she's learned a few things.  And I realized that for my children, I broke that cycle of violence.  It existed in my ex's family for generations. And I stopped it for them.  

But that is just the start.  The journey continues, but today, I pause to be grateful for the journey, the support, and the learnings along the way.  

Happy Freedom Anniversary.