Learning to Heal

Every child is different. Every child heals differently. My kids should not be surprised with the recent events. But they are. And they are learning to deal with life's disappointments. It's a journey.

My son has become very silent. And angry. And bitter. That scares me. But I think in time and with therapy, he will heal. My daughter, who expresses her feelings, is healing much faster.

And I'm proud of her. Three weeks ago, her dad sent a long, threatening letter to her through a cousin who goes to the same school. The rules were you cannot tell your mom I wrote this, you cannot take the letter away and read it alone or photocopy it, you gave to read it in front of your cousin, and you have to give it back to the cousin after reading. WTF?

Anyhow, my daughter opened the 4 paged letter, read the first 3 sentences (which basically blamed her for the deterioration of the relationship with her father) and then she closed the letter, gave it back to her cousin and said she wasn't interested in reading the rest.

Talk about courage. I'm 40 and I can honestly say even I wouldn't have been able to do that. To not know what's in the remaining 4 pages, and to know this letter would be too hurtful, and to have the strength of character to walk away and protect yourself from more hurt at that young an age... Well. Wow.

She's got every nut and bold screwed in just right in that little head of hers. And she can hold her own. And at the young age of 11 she is stronger and more independent than I could ever have imagined. At the age of 11 she's managed herself to a point that it took me 40 years to reach. Amazing.

I'm so happy and grateful that she's doing so well.

And now it's time to nurture my son. The gap there is that the nurturing needs to come from a male role model. He desperately needs it. Fortunately, I have a couple of good friends that can help in that front.

And the journey continues...